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I'm proud of myself...

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EvenKeel posted 1/2/2019 07:20 AM

Stay away from single moms. You will never be a priority for her.
Another T/J here. LilBlackCat is also a parent so I am sure he gets that her kiddo(s) would always be first priorty as would his. I don't see this as a redflag. Your children should be your first priority. It doesn't mean your new SO is not a priority.

I mostly dated single dates that had full custody of their children. It would have been a huge flag to me if his children were NOT his first priority.

End of T/J

Maybe this girl is just bad at texts? The fact that she typically responded with questions about you signals to me that she was just trying to find out more about you before she jumped in to far. You will definitely be able to tell more if she will engage via phone.

I found some folks just stink at texting and others excelled but were awful in person.

Good luck on your search!

LilBlackCat posted 1/2/2019 19:34 PM

I think she's weighing other possible options..

I mean we barely matched a few days a go and did talk on the phone last night for a lil while.. and we texted a lil bit during the day today.

But if SHE was interested in me to where I got beyond the app and passed the "selfie test" (yes, that was on of the first things she asked for via text) then I am alright.. if it doesn't pan out, it's ok (still sucks).. but my aim is definitely pointing a lot higher now.

LostHope8008 posted 1/3/2019 09:06 AM

Losthope, why are you so hung up on this? I've seen you mention this numerous times in numerous NB threads

Bleep, in short, my mom was a single mother, until she wasn't, then she was again. Married several times and each one was worst then the last. She was always looking for someone to help pay her next mortgage payment, because she had very little to offer. The first a-hole was abusive and beat the snot out of her as well as me and my two brothers. The last a-hole she married had a son who ended up banging my ex-wife. They are now (unhappily) married with their own kid. In the end, all three a-holes are dead and so are my parents. That is why I give advice to avoid single mothers. And yes, I just started up IC again.

To the OP, sorry for the t/j. I think it's wonderful that you now can spot anyone who is trying to play you or get something for nothing (ego kibbles, money, etc). If there are red flags, move on to the next one. Or better yet, maybe take a break. It just may not be the right time.

LilBlackCat posted 1/3/2019 11:37 AM

This is sure a learning experience...

I am sure it's dead now.. she pretty much has ghosted, even though I can see her online on match.. all communication has ended.

I am good actually, I know that it may sound shallow.. but I can attract a beautiful and sexy woman..

It's her loss, as when we talked.. she spoke of what she is looking for and I know on all levels I would excel in.. She just didn't give me the chance. I am sure there others might or will as well.. I may have panicked at the end with trying to draw her close.. but screw it, I just "let the plate fall" in the end.. and it's ok.. I am learning as I go. There are many more attractive women out there.

The search continues.

WhoTheBleep posted 1/3/2019 14:23 PM

Losthope, I'm very sorry you experienced that. It's clear from what you wrote that your single mom generalization is not the issue. Glad to hear you are in IC. IC has no doubt saved my sanity. Wishing you continued healing.

HalfTime2017 posted 1/9/2019 18:14 PM


Here is the thing with OLD. If they are interested, you will know. They will contact and text. Yes, typically men pursue, so you should, but they will respond. If there is that much game playing, just cut bait and move on. There are so many women out there on OLD, and you live in SD. [edit: PM requests not allowed]

[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:32 AM, January 10th (Thursday)]

LilBlackCat posted 1/9/2019 18:59 PM

Yeah, I know and I'm confident I'll find someone..

Just got to get my gym routine locked in a lil better and let time run it's course.

Maybe in the Spring, we could meet up for a brew or something.

[This message edited by LilBlackCat at 6:59 PM, January 9th (Wednesday)]

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