"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

LilBlackCat posted 12/30/2018 21:20 PM

I got a hit from an attractive woman on Match (yes, I took the step and paid for the membership) and then noticed one liner responses (although they were mainly questions asking about me) but I expected that with continued response.. an actual conversation would start.. but it was like pulling teeth.. So I decided to up the ante, I asked to communicate via phone/text versus the app.. saw she had read the message but no response.

So I messaged her saying good luck on her search, as I had already sensed the lack of interest..

I'm proud of myself, cause I didn't let myself get strung along.. I am so tired of that.

Although, I was surprised initially, that she hit like on me since I'm not 5'9" as she said she was looking for.. Oh well, whatever.

Phoenix1 posted 12/30/2018 21:47 PM

Look at you, being all confident and unwilling to be strung along! Woo hoo!! Great job!

LilBlackCat posted 12/30/2018 22:26 PM

Craziest thing.. it drew a response of apology, saying that due to having her daughter this weekend she is busy and how her daughter is very jealous...

So the plot thickens.. lol

WhoTheBleep posted 12/30/2018 22:55 PM

I'm proud of you too. Well done, LBC. In a way, I get the brief responses with kids. My texts with friends are often sporadic for the same reason (well, not jealousy, but just...kids being kids.).

Will you let her make the next move? I think she should. But I'm no expert at this, as we all know.

Zamboni posted 12/30/2018 23:23 PM

Good for you LBC.

It’s also the holidays — a crazy time of year and kids are on break. That could be a factor as well.

LilBlackCat posted 12/31/2018 00:30 AM

I'm sure she's likely get hit up by other men and what not.. and there's no expectation of any kind at this point.. but if we are gonna talk, then give me that..

I plan to be understanding, and I sent her my phone number to see if she is willing to go there.. but left the ball in her court.. I will keep it simple with good morning/night, to show interest.. but beyond that, I am expecting a lil more that one liners..

Chrysalis123 posted 12/31/2018 06:35 AM

Good for you.

However, " the daughter is jealous bit" is a HUGE red flag. If I were you I would proceed with huge caution with this one. Or just block her and move on.

LilBlackCat posted 12/31/2018 11:48 AM

Honestly, I think that the "jealous kid" thing was just something to buy her time..

and if not.. well, then time will tell...

but regardless, the search continues.

Chrysalis123 posted 1/1/2019 07:00 AM

I think that the "jealous kid" thing was just something to buy her time..

And that is another red flag. She is not honest and she is manipulative. NEXT

WhoTheBleep posted 1/1/2019 08:57 AM

I'm with Chrysalis on this. Maybe don't eliminate her completrly., But tread lightly. Watch her actions, as we should do with all people, not just WS's.

Hoping for the best for you, LBC. You deserve an amazing woman. If she's not it, there is one out there!

unsure73 posted 1/1/2019 09:36 AM

that's only one in a sea of millions. I wish you luck.

LostHope8008 posted 1/1/2019 13:28 PM

Stay away from single moms. You will never be a priority for her. Well, maybe on the day you get paid but every other day you will be shuffled to the back of the line.

shakentocore posted 1/1/2019 13:41 PM

Hooray! You should be proud of yourself! If you meet someone who isn’t enthused.....NEXT! Glad that you realize that you deserve more.

I.will.survive posted 1/1/2019 13:53 PM

Woohoo for getting out there!

I would not keep in touch with her as far as greeting her with good morning/good night.

You could be ego kibbles for her. She has time for attention, but not really interested or she would MAKE time.

It will be easy when it's the right one.

But getting out there is the right step to take!

WhoTheBleep posted 1/1/2019 15:18 PM

Stay away from single moms. You will never be a priority for her. Well, maybe on the day you get paid but every other day you will be shuffled to the back of the line.

Losthope, why are you so hung up on this? I've seen you mention this numerous times in numerous NB threads. I can hear you seething through your written words. You are an expert on this how, exactly? Aren't you in R? (Forgive me if I'm mistaken)

Sincere apologies for the T/J.

LBC, don't eliminate potential mates based on one angry opinion. I have 3 children and have somehow run a 3500 sq foot household in an expensive county on my own for the past 1.5 years. And I haven't gotten 1 penny from WH, even though he earns over twice my income. And I haven't incurred 1 penny of debt. And I'm f***ing incredible in 100 other ways.

This isn't a dating site, but I suspect t there are tons of BW's in D/S who have kids, who are incredible too.

The most amazing woman I know is a widow with 3 daughters and taught at an Ivy League University.

Go with your heart LBC. Listen to your gut. Watch her actions. You'll figure it out for yourself.

Zamboni posted 1/1/2019 18:28 PM

LostHope — Stay away from single moms? Really?

I don’t know if you personally have had a bad experience, but I know plenty of single PARENTS, male or female, that make great partners. Most people do have other obligations like careers, kids, extended family, etc. but that doesn’t mean they should be excluded from dating or don’t know how to be a good partner.

PLUS the assumption that single moms are simply looking for a paycheck is just not cool. Sure, many people are financially damaged in a divorce, but it doesn’t mean we are all left destitute with the inability to pay our bills or stand on our own two feet.

LilBlackCat posted 1/1/2019 21:14 PM

Thanks everyone.. yeah, I'm riding the wave and watching her actions..

But I'm still looking.

Also, I don't have an issue with single moms.. you can tell pretty quick, which ones are looking for support versus something more mutual.

There was one lady, who point blank put that on her profile.. looking for new father for her kids, and someone to help with financial support to help raise them.. I hit the dislike button, but I'm sure there's others who would go for that.. Just not me

Plus, I'm a single dad.. would be hypocritical for me to be against them for that reason as well.

LilBlackCat posted 1/1/2019 21:50 PM

You could be ego kibbles for her.

I will say this.. Right now, she is ego kibbles to me.. cause to me, she's very attractive and even if things don't pan out.. Making the list period, was a self esteem boost for me.

WhoTheBleep posted 1/1/2019 22:07 PM

^^^Excellent perspective, LBC.

I.will.survive posted 1/2/2019 05:16 AM

You could be ego kibbles for her.

I will say this.. Right now, she is ego kibbles to me.. cause to me, she's very attractive and even if things don't pan out.. Making the list period, was a self esteem boost for me.

Exactly! Just beware of the tipping point. The point where you get caught up in that fact in case she never commits to meeting, etc.

Enjoy the "hunt" and I know you will be successful in 2019 with it!!