Thank you so much everyone...you are all right. I am being too lenient. We just came back from holiday vacation so I didn't want to 'rock the boat' and ruin it for the family given that nothing 'actually' has happened, but.....now that it is January - I feel like I can say - 'hey, no contact. I am not comfortable for very obvious reasons.' And if he resists, then I have a plan to physically leave (I will be a grey rock) for a while (3-4 weeks) so he can comprehend that I am serious. know he would be very unsettled if I just took off.
Sadnanxious - your advice is so logical. I am going to use the allergic analogy, because it is literally the reality of the situation.
BondJaneBond - You think the way I do! I keep gathering info. The 'feathers preened' comment - oh my word, that is so accurate! I am not at all a preening wife so I think he is a target. But you are right - anyone could be an AP candidate, even if I don't think they are.
formerpeopleperson - you are so correct. Available = potential. ugh.
Well, it has been a month and I have not seen any more contact. It may have fizzled or he moved it to just phone calls. (guess I need to get the phone bills). Even if it fizzled, I am 100% sure that she will be back. I need to let him know that there should be no contact because it makes ME unhappy. Period. She is not going away, until be disallows it.
[This message edited by canadianfarmgirl at 5:58 PM, Saturday, January 10th]
