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Newest Member: Xoplex

Reconciliation :
The new symbol of my marriage

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 4characters (original poster member #85657) posted at 7:38 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2025

My WW and I continue to struggle to connect, and reconciliation (after 6 months) is failing. Our marriage counselor gave up on us and said we should find someone new.

This sets the stage for the new symbol of my marriage.

My wife and I decided we would try to grow apple trees in our backyard. We went to the store and found my favorite variety (Honey Crisp) and planted it. It was early in spring and there were a lot of trees to choose from. We got one that was healthy and already had buds.

A few weeks later, we went back to buy a second one, her favorite variety (Golden Delicious) and planted it. However, this was later in the spring and there was no longer a good selection to choose from, and we had to guess which of the six dead looking trees might bloom. We did the best we could.

They both have good access to water and sunlight. But the second tree still has no buds, and the trunk doesn't look healthy.

For me this is a symbol of our relationship, one tree standing tall trying to grow, blooming with the season. The other tree, lifeless and gray. Is it struggling to grow or just survive? Is it already dead?

There the two trees rest, taking in the elements and whatever life throws at them. But my tree (a pollinator for the other tree) try as it might, appears to be alone and ineffective. While my wife's tree just looks like it gave up completely.

Happy Friday everybody!

posts: 107   ·   registered: Jan. 7th, 2025
id 8868134
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RecklessForgiver ( member #82891) posted at 5:24 AM on Sunday, May 11th, 2025

I am sorry. I can hear your frustration.

The work we BS put into reconciliation makes us better, even if it does not fix the marriage. You are growing; it is sad that she is not. But you will grow, and that is all you really control. You choose to grow.

RecklessForgiver

posts: 101   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2023   ·   location: Midwest
id 8868174
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