Theevent (original poster new member #85259) posted at 4:25 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2025
Has anyone tried Emotional Focused Therapy for recovery after infidelity?
This was recommended to me by an authority in this area (who is currently retired) as their favorite therapy post infidelity. They also mentioned Attachment focussed therapy.
I don't know a lot about either one of those. According to the internet EFT is very effective, and the "gold standard" for couples therapy after infidelity.
My concern with any potential therapy, is letting my WW off the hook without her doing the work to really reconcile, or us working through "marriage issues" rather than the real causes of why she chose to betray me. Because of these concerns I'm cautious with any potential therapy or therapists I'm considering.
Does anyone have any experience they would like to talk about in this area?
Me - BH D-day 4/2024 age 42
Her - WW EA 1/2023, PA 7/2023 - 6/2024, age 40
Married 18 years, 2 teenage children
Trying to reconcile
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:10 AM on Sunday, March 16th, 2025
I think that IC for her is to work on her why's and to work on becoming a safe partner. MC is to treat the marital relationship.
Your M didn't cheat, your WW did. Has her IC said she's done enough internal work that MC is ok? Has your IC said that you're ready for MC?
I haven't heard of Emotional Focused Therapy. Ours was Hoffman trained and on our first session started in on the unmet needs fallacy. If we were going to use unmet needs, then I'd have been the one to cheat.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
