I know I’ve said it before but I want to thank you all for your support, intuitiveness and advice. This forum is terrific therapy. It’s better than going to therapy.
Update. We had a big talk yesterday, kids were at school and we each had the day off, post "vacation".
She says that she keeps thinking of being in a new house by herself and it seems to make her happy. She looks happy when she talks about it. She initially asked if we could keep everything the same (finances etc) but another house and we would continue on, or keep living together but separated until the kids are old enough to be on their own. Well the youngest has 11 years to go before 18.
Needless to say I told her I wanted nothing to do with those scenarios and that we would have to draw papers up to arrange separation details. Within a half hour she says she doesn’t want things to change and she loves me but is "emotionally closed" to me and she doesn’t see how she can get over that. I told her that I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me and that includes emotionally open. She was pretty disdainful towards me during our conversation and even called herself a "cunt" for the way she was talking and behaving. She has been getting increasingly selfish, even during our trip, I could go on and on but I won’t.
We didn’t say much the rest of the day and I went to bed early. I got the guy feeling again that she might still be talking to the OM. She was back to the old ways of staying in the bathroom for extended periods of time and getting out of bed throughout the night and taking her phone with her and upon returning I could see her closing a texting app. And she is back at work today with him.
I told myself I wasn’t gonna say anything to her about it and stay distant and had plans to meet with a lawyer today.
The second lawyer meeting went far better than the first and now I have a clearer picture of things. It’s an unfortunate time of year, scheduling wise, to try to deal with lawyers for this stuff.
Today she texts me and asked how i was feeling. So I told her I was angry hurt and upset by the way she talked to me and that I had a gut feeling that she was back to her affair ways.
She responded with she isn’t gonna be able to continue this asking questions, phone watching etc because it’s gonna drive her crazy.
She asked to cancel our second MC appt, due to kids scheduling but then admitted she doesn’t see herself changing how she feels.
Like some of you have said on here that her behaviour may be a gift in disguise. I’m starting to see it that way as well.
I think the next step is to sit down with her and come up with separation details.
One month to the day of DDay. Things come at you fast sometimes.
The updates and advice thereafter are therapeutic for me I find. So thank you for allowing me the time.
