Looking for some insights and advice from those who may have BTDT.
I've been posting in the Just Found Out forum of late. Boilerplate is my husband cheated two months ago with a colleague and is on administrative leave, I found out one month ago, we are both uncertain if we want to try to reconcile or to divorce. We have small children. I have been a SAHM supporting his career for several years (yes I am now looking fiendishly for work I can do with small kids at home now).
We have discussed structuring a post-nuptial agreement that could port over into a divorce agreement if necessary. We have both agreed to terms of division of assets, alimony support, child support, and child custody should we divorce. The terms are to my advantage but fair to both of us.
I met with an attorney today whom I feel very comfortable with and confident in. I have three paths I could take:
1. Structure and file a post-nuptial agreement (save for child custody and support which aren't included in such agreements). This locks us into the terms as agreed upon today, unless one of us decides to challenge them in a divorce proceeding (note: we have included language that if either party does they are responsible for both parties' legal fees). This is a flat fee cost of $7500 for my attorney's firm to prepare and file. He would pay a nominal fee for a separate attorney of his choosing to review the final document.
2. Structure divorce, child support, and child custody agreements. Sign but do not file until necessary. This involves a retainer of $7500 with hourly billables as needed (to eventually include case prep, court filing work, representation, etc.). No ballpark for costs. Unused retainer balance, if any, would be returned if we do not file.
3. Do nothing.
#3 is out for me. In this land of uncertainty I need something solid to rely on. I am leaning towards #1. But I also worry it is a sunk cost if we will be divorcing anyway. I do not know when we will make the decision if we do. And #3 makes sense from a financial standpoint but means we don't have a contract that is valid in place. Just a draft that hasn't been filed.
I would love some insights here. We have funds to pay for these fees but of course would prefer to stay fiscally conservative if we can as future earnings are uncertain. Thank you.
