Let's tally this here:
*No sex for years. That is NOT okay in a marriage unless both partners really don't want sex. Sex is an integral part of marriage. If one partner consistently refuses it, that is grounds for divorce.
*You improved your fitness & your wife insulted your efforts. That's abusive.
*Your wife cheated, lied, gaslighted, devalued you & exposed you to possible STDs from her partner(s). That is abusive.
*She does not accept responsibility for this.
*Your sex life is STILL virtually nonexistent.
OP, your wife doesn't love you. She isn't even remotely a good candidate for reconciliation.
You can divorce and meet someone else who will appreciate you. Really. Do that.
I recommend you read Cheating in a Nutshell by Tamara and Wayne Mitchell.