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she asked me to delete an Instagram post that I had done about her birthday with pics of us and our friends having a good time. She wanted it deleted because it "gave her anxiety" because of what happened later that day when her AP was blowing up her phone about seeing another pic of my wife and I together.

She's putting her AP ahead of you. She does not love you. She is no longer your "wife". You're only fantasizing that she's your wife at this point. She's your ex. You no longer live together and she's not committed to you. She's still "making up her mind" as if you were only casually dating, and she doesn't even want to look like you're a couple on social media.

The marriage is already over for her. It only exists in your head, in your wishes. Please wake up and end your part of it, so you can move on and find someone real.

[This message edited by morningglory at 11:40 PM, Thursday, June 2nd]

The1stWife, yeah, no accountability. The world is against her. That's her view of life the past year. She talks about how much pain she is in like Im the one that did this to her not the other way around. She says sorry a lot but I don't think she really understands what exactly she's done.

Stevesn, you are correct, love shouldn't be this hard. A friend of mine said the exact same thing the other night and I never really thought about it like that. I always thought that it is hard and you have to put in effort all the time and continually work on it. But this is completely exhausting.

morningglory, I agree. It feels weird even saying "my wife". We were only married a year before she cheated and so I never even got used to it to begin with. But I don't feel married and she doesn't feel like my wife. My therapist has made it very clear that the marriage is over and that's why I've been sad a lot of the time. Because Im grieving the loss of my old life with her.

Thanks everyone for your time and advise. I wish I could express how grateful I am that you all are here. It really means a lot. Ive recently com to the realization that there's only one way out of this now. And that it's up to me to do it. Ive been in denial for a very long time. I think this is the end. Ill update soon.

Here is a key piece of advice my very expensive (and wise) therapist gave me.

He told me that there is something called a "successful" D for the BS. It is when you know you have done your best and tried, but the cheating spouse just is not someone you can R with.

I think you fall into this category. I think you did everything you could to R and be the best spouse you could.

Unfortunately your wife is not someone who understands Marriage or monogamy or commitment etc.

Some day you will look back and be grateful you got out when you did.

I’m fearful when you tell her you want a D she will try to manipulate back into the marriage. She may try to live bomb etc. please don’t fall for ut b/c she’s had many months of opportunity with you and she blew them all.

So sorry for you. You deserve better.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 1:32 AM, Friday, June 3rd]

Ive recently com to the realization that there's only one way out of this now. And that it's up to me to do it. Ive been in denial for a very long time. I think this is the end. Ill update soon.

Stay strong. You will get through this and find someone better.

Bump.

It's been a while since you last posted. I hope you are doing well. You said early in this post that you were contacted by the AP saying that AP was also being lied to. Do you still have her contact info? Why not chat with the AP and get her side of the story. Obviously your ww is playing both of you.

Any up date?