Tonight is my husband's annual work holiday party for work. Because my husband and his former COW still have the same employer, they are both invited to attend. It is a spouse free event.
The first two years pre D-day, my husband simply did not attend. Year 3 he did as I felt comfortable with where we are and I was tired of "letting her have" these spaces. As with every other work event they have had to attend, everyone kept their distance, he texted me throughout the night to make me feel comfortable and it was fine. I have zero concerns there is any ongoing A or contact that is not absolutely necessary. Last year, due to Covid, it was a non-issue. This year, I gave my H the go ahead again months ago - he was in charge of organizing a portion of it this year. At the time, I kind of figured OW would not be attending as she is on mat leave after having twins this past fall, however my go-ahead wasn't contingent on that. Unfortunately, he let me know a few weeks ago that he had seen her name on the "yes" RSVP list. He confirmed I was still okay with his attendance. I was.... mostly.
I guess I've triggered lately as tonight has approached. Triggers are far more low-grade this far into R I suppose. Intellectually, I know I have nothing to worry about but yeah, I have been thinking about OW and the A a lot more in these past few weeks than I'd like and it kind of sucks. I haven't posted anything about it because a) I am truly not actually worried; b) I know I can handle it (I had plans to have a fancy cocktail and bougie takeout after my kids are in bed tonight and let myself feel sorry for myself); and c) every time I post about my situation, someone inevitably shoots off some quick insensitive/ unhelpful remark about how my husband has to quit his job immediately or that I should ask to get OW's DNA tested even though everyone has been happily in R for almost 5 years. (So if that's your instinct here, please just scroll on by!)
Anyhow, my husband texted me a screenshot of an email he received this morning which indicated that OW had cancelled last minute because she is sick. Yay!!! A Christmas miracle!!!!
Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 6 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
5 years (and two toddlers) into R. Happy.