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ShutterHappy ( member #64318) posted at 1:46 PM on Sunday, June 27th, 2021
Two things to consider:
1. This is a work laptop. Be careful with this. Don’t clone the HD like someone suggested. Her employer may have a dim view of this. I know for my work laptop, an “intruder” would be looking at a lawsuit, a 7 figures fine and jail time.
2. In another thread, you mentioned she was crying for the OM and missing her amazing kiss with him. Don’t try to “win her back”.
In her mind she’s like Rose in the Titanic who wants to go with Jack but forced to be married with someone she is forced to. 
As long as she roots for the OM, you don’t R, you get out of infidelity through D.
Me: BH
Divorced, remarried.
I plan on living forever. So far so good
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 2:28 PM on Sunday, June 27th, 2021
As the others have said, you are not in reconciliation.
The bad days are the days her cheating comes up. Not reconciliation.
She sends a birthday card to her AP. Not reconciliation.
Pines for him. Not reconciliation.
And more.
My suggestion regarding her work computer is to not let her know that you know about her password and to somehow be able to get some time alone with her computer to look through it. If you ask her to use it she could use the justifiable reason of confidentiality to "regretfully" refuse.
Apparently the first kiss is a tougher boundary to break than the first sex. It is a PA (physical affair) by itself. I submit that if there was a kiss there likely was sex.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
asc1226 ( member #75363) posted at 3:45 PM on Sunday, June 27th, 2021
Whatever you decide you need to do it now. If it’s her work laptop it’s likely the password has to be changed regularly.
I make edits, words is hard
Countingsheep65 ( member #56000) posted at 3:43 AM on Monday, June 28th, 2021
Wait....she sent him a birthday card last week????
No, no, no... You know this isn’t right.
I wouldn’t tell her you have the password.
I knew his password to his work computer, he had told me years ago as I needed to use his computer, well he forgot I knew.
I was all over that thing, found things I needed to justify I wasn’t insane. Took pictures of everything, if he had found out I didn’t care. How would they prove it was me on it?
IDK, good luck, theses people suck doing this to us, fucks with our minds.
Still, the birthday card? Really? Just WRONG!
And, how did you know about the card?
This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 4:16 AM on Monday, June 28th, 2021
Just to be super clear, your wife is still in the affair mentally. You are at best rugsweeping and playing the pick me dance.
Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.
SnowToArmPits ( member #50943) posted at 6:52 AM on Monday, June 28th, 2021
She cries in the car and talks to herself. Says things like “I miss him so much”. “There has to be a way. Just not right now”. “That kiss was amazing”.
Ya well maybe you should start talking to yourself... "It will be so great when she's gone." "I can do so much better than her".
[This message edited by SnowToArmPits at 12:52 AM, June 28th (Monday)]
Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 2:03 PM on Monday, June 28th, 2021
Dude. Step back and look at the forest, not the trees. You're playing marriage cop. Your WW is doing zip point shit to preserve the marriage. Stop. Just stop. Leave her and give yourself some peace.
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 9:57 AM on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021
1. This is a work laptop. Be careful with this. Don’t clone the HD like someone suggested. Her employer may have a dim view of this. I know for my work laptop, an “intruder” would be looking at a lawsuit, a 7 figures fine and jail time.
Only for a sloppy amature.
I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.
OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 9:57 AM on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021
Oops…double tap.
[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 3:58 AM, June 29th (Tuesday)]
I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 1:22 PM on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021
Such disrespect from the cheater. How sad.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
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