Newest Member: Loyalandbetrayed

Just Found Out :
Wayward spouse laptop password

Topic is Sleeping.
default

ShutterHappy ( Member #64318) posted at 1:46 PM on Sunday, June 27th, 2021

Two things to consider:

1. This is a work laptop. Be careful with this. Don’t clone the HD like someone suggested. Her employer may have a dim view of this. I know for my work laptop, an “intruder” would be looking at a lawsuit, a 7 figures fine and jail time.

2. In another thread, you mentioned she was crying for the OM and missing her amazing kiss with him. Don’t try to “win her back”.

In her mind she’s like Rose in the Titanic who wants to go with Jack but forced to be married with someone she is forced to.

As long as she roots for the OM, you don’t R, you get out of infidelity through D.

Me: BH
Divorced, remarried.
I plan on living forever. So far so good

posts: 1432   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2018   ·   location: In my house
id 8670362
default

steadychevy ( Member #42608) posted at 2:28 PM on Sunday, June 27th, 2021

As the others have said, you are not in reconciliation.

The bad days are the days her cheating comes up. Not reconciliation.

She sends a birthday card to her AP. Not reconciliation.

Pines for him. Not reconciliation.

And more.

My suggestion regarding her work computer is to not let her know that you know about her password and to somehow be able to get some time alone with her computer to look through it. If you ask her to use it she could use the justifiable reason of confidentiality to "regretfully" refuse.

Apparently the first kiss is a tougher boundary to break than the first sex. It is a PA (physical affair) by itself. I submit that if there was a kiss there likely was sex.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4658   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8670367
default

asc1226 ( Member #75363) posted at 3:45 PM on Sunday, June 27th, 2021

Whatever you decide you need to do it now. If it’s her work laptop it’s likely the password has to be changed regularly.

I make edits, words is hard

posts: 369   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2020
id 8670378
default

Countingsheep65 ( Member #56000) posted at 3:43 AM on Monday, June 28th, 2021

Wait....she sent him a birthday card last week????

No, no, no... You know this isn’t right.

I wouldn’t tell her you have the password.

I knew his password to his work computer, he had told me years ago as I needed to use his computer, well he forgot I knew.

I was all over that thing, found things I needed to justify I wasn’t insane. Took pictures of everything, if he had found out I didn’t care. How would they prove it was me on it?

IDK, good luck, theses people suck doing this to us, fucks with our minds.

Still, the birthday card? Really? Just WRONG!

And, how did you know about the card?

posts: 424   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2016
id 8670527
default

This0is0Fine ( Member #72277) posted at 4:16 AM on Monday, June 28th, 2021

Just to be super clear, your wife is still in the affair mentally. You are at best rugsweeping and playing the pick me dance.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 1326   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8670535
default

SnowToArmPits ( Member #50943) posted at 6:52 AM on Monday, June 28th, 2021

She cries in the car and talks to herself. Says things like “I miss him so much”. “There has to be a way. Just not right now”. “That kiss was amazing”.

Ya well maybe you should start talking to yourself... "It will be so great when she's gone." "I can do so much better than her".

[This message edited by SnowToArmPits at 12:52 AM, June 28th (Monday)]

posts: 343   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8670556
default

Butforthegrace ( Member #63264) posted at 2:03 PM on Monday, June 28th, 2021

Dude. Step back and look at the forest, not the trees. You're playing marriage cop. Your WW is doing zip point shit to preserve the marriage. Stop. Just stop. Leave her and give yourself some peace.

"The wicked man flees when no one chases."

posts: 3771   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2018   ·   location: Midwest
id 8670597
default

OrdinaryDude ( Member #55676) posted at 9:57 AM on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021

1. This is a work laptop. Be careful with this. Don’t clone the HD like someone suggested. Her employer may have a dim view of this. I know for my work laptop, an “intruder” would be looking at a lawsuit, a 7 figures fine and jail time.

Only for a sloppy amature.

Me - BH 50+
Her - WW 50+
Married 30+ years, 2 adult kids
(1989) PA Rug-Swept
(2002) EA Rug-Swept
(2016) EA *Getting Out Of Infidelity*

**Working at Reconciling**

posts: 3366   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: The Big Easy
id 8670819
default

OrdinaryDude ( Member #55676) posted at 9:57 AM on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021

Oops…double tap.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 3:58 AM, June 29th (Tuesday)]

Me - BH 50+
Her - WW 50+
Married 30+ years, 2 adult kids
(1989) PA Rug-Swept
(2002) EA Rug-Swept
(2016) EA *Getting Out Of Infidelity*

**Working at Reconciling**

posts: 3366   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: The Big Easy
id 8670820
default

The1stWife ( Member #58832) posted at 1:22 PM on Tuesday, June 29th, 2021

Such disrespect from the cheater. How sad.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 10517   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8670847
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20210918 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy