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Curious question for those who moved forward with D

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src9043 posted 3/31/2021 20:26 PM

I felt liberated when we split up. Terms were reached quickly and quietly. The final decree was not issued until my ex-wife decided to remarry (about 13 months after we broke up) in order to keep her on my health care. That was part of the property settlement agreement. Very happy when the final decree was issued. I had emotionally checked out of the marriage for several years. I was just waiting to catch her again having an affair even though we were trying to have another child at the time (her idea). That was really stupid on my part. Luckily she didn't get pregnant.

tigerfann posted 4/6/2021 16:25 PM

Like several others have said, YES I was relieved when the divorce process started (& ended)~but during the year it took, there were still many times when I questioned "Is this really the right thing to do?" I knew it was, but still...
It sounds like you feel the same; just don't feel like if you waver a bit that something's wrong. It's normal.
I told a friend: I didn't just divorce my XH because he was screwing around. I divorced him because he was an a**hole who screwed around!

[This message edited by tigerfann at 4:26 PM, April 6th (Tuesday)]

Planetx posted 4/7/2021 18:16 PM

There are so many ups and downs. I NEVER regretted my decision to divorce, but the process is exhausting. Sometimes I felt cool and confident, other times insecure. Sometimes I was scared about making it on my own, but it is a year later and I am so happy with my new life!

Cheatee posted 4/8/2021 07:16 AM

We tried, or rather, I tried to reconcile after her disastrous affair. She was putting in the effort as first, but then backslid, turned our daughter against me, stalked me in support forums, told me "I've forgiven myself" and eventually referred to her affair as "a cry for help."

It was a year of this nonsense until I finally called it quits.

That was over five years ago. My life has vastly improved, but she is still poisoning our daughter, blaming me for selfishly focusing on my own pain during the affair and ignoring her "cry for help." So, daughter still has to deal with it, which makes me furious. It's a way that my XWW still can intrude into my life.

But otherwise, it feels great to be done with the bullshit and the reconciliation was a success, in that it eliminated any doubt I was doing the right thing to D.

Anna123 posted 4/8/2021 08:53 AM

I had to drag myself to do it kicking and screaming.

The relief came first when it was finalized, and second when I moved into my new place.

There isn't a day that goes by now that I don't feel sweet relief that the hell of our supposed R is over and I am free from all the other unrelated crap I didn't know I was putting up with.

nutmegkitty posted 4/12/2021 17:19 PM

I filed less than 2 weeks after dday. It sucked, but the ex had no intentions of ending his A. It was 10000000% the right thing to do.

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