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Newest Member: LIttlemonster

Divorce/Separation :
Now what

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 Notagain1 (original poster new member #78464) posted at 11:49 PM on Sunday, March 7th, 2021

5 years ago WH moved 5 hours away from home for a job. I hesitated coming, but decided to give it a go. I have always suffered from depression and anxiety, but have been working very hard to rise above it with therapy and meds. He is an alcoholic who won't get help. Just found out yesterday that He has been with someone for the past two months and oh yeah he wants to pursue it. I did not see this coming and feel like a F'n idiot for moving here. Now what? Nowhere to go, my job pays barely a liveable wage and I am lost. My dogs don't even love me now cause I can't stop crying.

posts: 40   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2021
id 8640016
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Minnesota ( member #50615) posted at 3:42 AM on Monday, March 8th, 2021

Wow I’m really sorry you find yourself in this situation. There is so much to try to figure out.

A couple things first-

Take care of your basic needs. Eat something. Drink water. Get a little sleep if you can. Take a couple walks. I was surprised at at much better a 20 minute walk made me feel when I first got into this craziness. Take care of your body.

Look at and figure out what you CAN control. (Really it’s only you) - look for the things you CAN do , even little things help. (Talk to a friend in the phone, go to work each day, put on foot in front of the other and one step, no matter how small at a time.)

Make sure you’re doing what you can to help your mental health. Take your meds. See your therapist. Talk to your health care providers about what’s going on. Trauma affects you physically and mentally and they have resources to help you.

I’m so sorry you are having to find yourself here. You’re not alone.

One

Step

At

A

Time.

Others will be along shortly to help, too.

We are with you.

Me: BS Upper 40's
Her: XWW younger 30's
Married Sept. 2010
DDay Thanksgiving 2015
Dday2- Jan28ish, 2016 -new affair
One child (Big Mister) born in 2012
Divorced Sept. 2, 2016

posts: 2120   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: Minnesota
id 8640053
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:45 AM on Monday, March 8th, 2021

Start boarding $. It’s your first step in getting out.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 15135   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8640089
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