Newest Member: username3016

Wayward Side :
Tips for things I should be doing?

Topic is Sleeping.
stop

 JoshQ (original poster New Member #77207) posted at 12:05 PM on Monday, February 1st, 2021

As a wayward, I am doing my best to journal every day, see a therapist once a week, starting couple's counseling this week, reading a book about infidelity, and posting to this forum. But are there other vital things that I should be doing?

posts: 19   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2021
id 8629593
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foreverlabeled ( Member #52070) posted at 2:06 PM on Monday, February 1st, 2021

I would say try to foster an environment of open, empathetic, honest communication with your BS. Make sure you are checking in with her. Of course if she's open to that. Reassurance I think is pretty important for them.

What steps are you taking to show you are a safe spouse?

Have you offered complete transparency? With your phone and other devices, offering all logins.

Also, transparency with your whereabouts. I was attending college when dday hit, and even though my BH knew my schedule, his brain was traumatized and wasn't able to remembered things normally. I was in class and my phone was put away. I had over 50 missed calls from him. We came up with a system, installed GPS, and other things like FaceTime on demand when able.

What book are you reading? Because, if its not "how to help your spouse heal from your affair" that is a must. It will teach you proven things that help our spouses especially in the beginner. So don't hesitate to start that right away.

IC is going to be able to help you with more personal issues and how to fix it (hopefully) and it will take time to delve into all of that and make lasting changes.

I don't recall your dday, but if it was recent (and really if was 10 years ago) I would suggest learning all you can on the traumatizing effects infidelity has on your BS and really try understand the whys. I scoured the internet for any and all information I could find and it was the best thing I could have done. It will be for you too.

33 divorced Madhatter
Time is no ones friend, nor their enemy. It moves forward at its own fixed pace, careless of our wants to speed it or slow it.

posts: 2513   ·   registered: Mar. 1st, 2016   ·   location: southeast
id 8629615
Topic is Sleeping.
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