She isn't able to tell me she loves me on these days and tells me I am going to lose her. I don't know how to cope with it.
its difficult to face consequences, even self inflicted ones. And the loss to be had here is great. I'm not sure there is anything you can do to cope with the pain other than feel it and process it. Its okay to be sad and angry at yourself for the terrible choices you've made. I was for a long time and still am to some degree. So it takes time.
Its gut wrenching, I know. We go down the cheating path feeling invincible and so sure we will never be caught. Thinking no one is going to get hurt, then it happens. We spend a lot of mental energy compartmentalizing to the point of oblivion and then reality comes crashing down hard, we aren't prepared for it. We witness the carnage, the fallout, the pain, the visible shift in our BSs. The loss.
Its a lot, at our own hands. Its not going to be comfortable but you gotta own this part. In fact its going to hurt like hell. However, its only a fraction of the pain felt by our BSs, and if they can get up every day and face reality, so can you.
How do I come to terms with the fact that I cheated, that it will probably lead to the end of a marriage with someone I truly love, and that I will be alone and it will be completely my fault?
I mean yeah, losing our spouse after cheating on them is a real possibility. One you need to face head on. Again there's no easy way around these feelings. I wish I had more uplifting words to help you through. Because I really do understand what you are feeling, and no doubt its hard.
Sometimes a good cry helps, writing, grounding yourself. Acceptance, allowing yourself to accept the situation you've put your family in is probably a good starting point to owning it. Try to move past "I can't believe I did this" to "I did this" and just sit with the thoughts and feelings. Again, its not going to be pleasant but its necessary.
Two months out is still so early and full of such raw emotions. One day at a time.