CaliforniaNative, I’m unable to quote you now (I’m still learning how to use this site), but I’m sorry we’re in similar situations. Do you mind me asking what made you walk away? Was your WS unwilling to do the work or were you just unable to forgive/forget? You’re right, he did live a double life. Makes me wonder if he was thinking about leaving the marriage for some time or just trying to fill a void. Again, he keeps feeding me the “I have to work on myself” crap and basically says since it keeps coming up now, he knows it’ll always come up later.
What made me walk away? D-day 2. When I caught him texting her after he promised, even signed a document stating he would cut off all communication with her. At that point I was done. I knew his word was bullsh*t, same as before. I asked him to leave. My ex kept saying “I’m lost”. He went to therapy, he begged for forgiveness, he said he was remorseful. I had a real hard time believing any of it. 2 years of lies and manipulation- it just felt like more of the same. I wanted a drama free life... no more d-days for me.
As for my timeline for healing - I dated a lot and had a hard time with trust and I wasn’t the best partner for a while. I needed to do the work to clear that.
It makes me wonder how the heck Lauren Sanchez’s xhusband was able to meet someone and get engaged so fast after only 2 years (she had a LTA with Jeff Bezos). I guess everyone has their own timeline.
Just want to say divorce was final July 2018 we both moved on with other people. My son is still a straight A student, active in sports and has lots of friends. I am Financially secure and he pays me very little.
There are others here that stayed after a LTR and multiple dday and are happy now too. Only you know what’s right.
Me BW: 45 Him WH: 44
Married 12 years , together 17 DS11
D Day Aug 4, 2017 LTA (relationship) Broke NC 9/1/2017
A wise woman once said “F-k this shit” and lived happily ever after.