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Please. I know there are some WSs who are in situations where it seems completely hopless. Please do the work on yourself. Please priorities self-care and self-love. It's very easy to become depressed, numb, suicidal when it comes to handling the fallout of your A. It takes enormous effort to repair the trust that's been brocken. It also takes enormous effort to change yourself for the better. You did wrong, yes, but that is not the end of your story.

We were selfish in our choices, but we realize this and come here to try and change. We are here because we want to be better to our partners and ourselves. Please do not give up on yourself because your relationships ended, or your partner hates you for what you did.

Please practice self-care and self-love; not the selfish love that allowed you to stoop so low, but a love that allows you to understand your strengths and your flaws; a love that you can share with someone else, and it will add meaning to their lives. Really love yourself first and aim to be the best version of yourself from the you before.

Working on fixing your relationships is extremely stressful on it's own. It is easy to become complacent if things are good, because you don't want to do the work anymore. It's too hard to do it for what seems like forever. You just want things fixed NOW. You want the results NOW. It is easy to be become depressed because nothing seems to be working and things are still a mess. Self-care is important for these moments. Because if you're going to be bettering yourselves and your relationships, the work to do so is lifelong. It does get easier after a few rocky years, but it is LIFELONG.

Whether you are in R, S or D, please practice self-care. It is important to you and your loved ones.

Hi Mrs SA

Have you guys remarried???

Hi jinkazama. No we have not yet. The pandemic has put a damper in many of our plans. We are waiting to see what the next year holds in order to plan accordingly. Hopefully, we can get things done then. Our remarriage is definitely happening.

MrsSouthAfrica,

I am hoping you might expand a little bit more for me the difference between self-care, self-love and selfish love.

Perhaps as I am not a WS, but one that was formerly married to a WS, I tend to see these three things being in the same family.

Anything you can share would be appreciated.

Awesome reminder! I will only add that sometimes self-care is really part of the work. A very important part because gives us energy to do the other work and to be there for our BS.

When WS resorted to cheating often times it has a lot to do with unhealthy balances in our lives. I learned to love and appreciate myself again in the midst of being diligent over my self care.

Always nice to hear from you Mrs. South Africa. Good luck with the vow renewal!

Our remarriage is definitely happening.

Good

I wish you guys the Best