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Seperation - Need advice

Unconditionalove posted 10/8/2020 09:18 AM

Hi Everyone,

I am new here on this forum and have been reading all the different posts and finally had the courage to post my own story and get advice. My husband and I have been dating for 12 year and married 4.

During our relationship and marriage there has been some times where I have found him talking to other girls on his phone. I always immediately confronted him and forgave because I loved him. I dont know what went through my mind, this time it was me that cheated on him. However, I had a physical affair. It lasted about a month and I had sex with the AP 3 times. My husband had suspected something was going on because I was always on my phone. He hacked my phone and started receiving my location and messages.

He stopped speaking to me and when I asked him what was wrong, he confronted me about cheating. I told him everything, all the details he asked. I regret what I did and am deeply remorseful and have apologized to him. When this happened,, our two year old child, was on vacation with my mom in another country. My husband left our house and moved in to his parents house. When he left he said he needs space from me. He doesn't know what his decision is going to be. He did not tell me how long he would take to decide. He also said conflicting things when he left such as I wont do anything with any girl because if I decide not to be with you, I have my whole life to do that but he said that he might talk to other girls and get their advice. He also said maybe it happened for it a good reason. You are the only girl I've ever had a serious relationship with, maybe ill realize I'm happier without you. At the same time, he said the goal is to try to come back but I dont know.

I am staying at our apartment by myself. He hasn't had any contact with me. It's been a month. I tried to message him about 2 weeks ago to apologize again but I did not get a reply. I also miss my son dearly, but I know that I will not be able to take care of him by myself. I have noone in this country except for my husband and dont have any friends. If he were to decide to divorce me, financially to be with my son the only choice I would have would be to move back to Canada. I know it sounds selfish, I really want to reconcile, but he said he doesn't know how long it will take him to decide. I just can't be without my son for a year, if that's how long it will take him to give me an anwser. I know that things won't go back close to normal for a long time and I expect to work hard to regain his trust and I want to be completely transparent with him and go to counseling.

However, I dont know how long I should sit and wait without any sort of communication before I should just accept that he is not coming back? Does anyone have any experience with this or can give me any sort of advice.

fooled13years posted 10/8/2020 10:22 AM

Didn't see the stop sign

[This message edited by fooled13years at 10:24 AM, October 8th (Thursday)]

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