I’m not going to ask him to choose. I’m done. I’m out and I need to keep strong. Not only for me but for my children. I’ve enabled his disrespectful ass for far too many years and I’m no longer willing to be party to it.
GOOD for you. That is exactly the attitude you need to have right now. Prepare yourself to waver, to question, to wonder if you're doing the right thing - but stay this course. You cannot continue on as you have been, and that's a fact.
Right now he is your adversary.
This is truth. It's hard to see it like this because you still love him, but how would you react to someone else who hurt your family the way he has? I'm guessing those bitch boots would have worn out soles by now.
I know nothing about this person or her character and will not put my children in that situation.
Okay, so maybe the only thing you know about her is that she sleeps with married men and doesn't give two craps about your kids. That's enough to make a judgment call, don't you think? 
He says he can’t talk to anyone because if he does it will paint me in a bad light.
This is pure, passive-aggressive BS. He can't talk to anyone about WHAT? How his marriage is going? Yeah, no kidding - because then he'd be exposing himself as an entitled, selfish piece of poo. This is his not-so-subtle way of blaming you for his affair, and the next time he pulls this crap out, tell him to shove it right back in.
Keep posting. This place is a lifesaver, whether the marriage ends or not.
