The ability to make the decision to cheat initially is really the same. Now the fact that you had enough regret to confess on your own (is that what happened or did something tip her off? If she just found out and it forced confessions would you have gone back for more- be honest with yourself about that) but if you did it on your own means that you didn’t have justifications built up about the affair, you hadn’t become callous in avoiding reality.
My wife has said, that in hindsight, I had been acting off in the weeks leading up to confessing. She just figured had chalked it up to a recent accident at work. No person was injured, but I didn't missed a small issue during routine maintenance of an electroshocking kit and as a result had an unnecessary mortality while surveying a stream. I did have justifications at first, but they didn't hold after the deed was done.
(burn the bed)
Already done. Myself and a friend dragged it half way across the state in the middle of the night, and burned it. Irresponsible considering our new drought conditions, but immensely satisfying.
Since you initiated sex the first time you saw her, after some weeks, and then days later chased her into a bathroom trying for more sex, I would say you are thinking with the wrong head. You are thinking with the head of the appendage between your legs and not with the head on your shoulder.
Exactly, which is part of what concerns me. My entire life, I've prided myself on my ability to think logically under almost every situation... Except now I can't. When my wife told me, I was livid. I went into the hallway and put my first through the wall. After I sent her to our friends house, I punched the wall again. Except I hit a stud, or a load bearing column, or something. I broke two of my fingers, except the break is on the portion of the phalanges that makes up my palm. Cast comes off Monday.
Still, though, since we have to do an in-house separation, I had to ask my wife to rebuff any moves I try and put on her. On top the feeling of emascualation, embarrassment, and general self-esteem I already felt, I added at least fifty percent by having to admit to my wife that I can't control myself around her.
Has she given you a reason for her affair? You know who it was with so have you even considered how you are going to deal with him. I am from the old school and definitely do not believe in letting a scumbag like him walk away without consequences.
Yeah, same reason as mine. Felt unwanted, withdrawn, unsupported, etc, etc. When her affair started, was the new Administration starting limiting the ability of myself and other employees to do their jobs. Hiring freezes, budget cuts, the states just couldn't absorb all of the job refugees, and the future of the field was in serious doubt. Some of that was resolved when I managed to snag a permanent state job.
There is nothing I can punish her AP with. He drew the short straw in terms of genetics, and the fact that he made it to 30 is nothing short of a miracle. However, I'm cushy and safe, while his ass is now hospitalized with COVID-19. Given his cystic fibrosis, the odds aren't great. For him. For me, it feels almost like a present from the universe. I'm almost horrified that I think I that, until I remember that he fucked my wife. Then I feel great about him being sick. Since I now have access to my wife's work email, I check it two or three times for updates on him.
Before it gets asked, no. Her AP didn't "work with her", he was a contractor they some times used for field gigs. He was their go to contractor, and is well-liked by her colleagues. Hell, even I liked him.
