Stilldenying posted 6/16/2020 19:42 PM

So apparently my PTSD may be very well linked with the childhood I essentially don't remember. Alcoholic abusive dad and mom that couldn't do shit about it to be as basic as I can. My PTSD triggers are screams to stop, hear and see me, validate I matter, be sorry....my IC made sense but also said that in no way does his lack of boundaries become acceptable, no one can spin it that good. He didn't like that part when I told him especially when his little miss perfect is included in that professional opinion. Well into week two with him being in a hotel but he did spend most of the weekend with me...I know I know.. that's not how it's supposed to work. He's having a hard time finding a temporary apartment with all the COVID restrictions. Not sure what the future holds but we both hoping to work things out eventually. Right now I guess my IC and I have to figure out how old the girl is that is having the PTSD episodes cause that's what she thinks is an important piece to figure out in my treatment. Who the fuck wants this shit??!! Sorry for being all over the place

[This message edited by Stilldenying at 7:47 PM, June 16th (Tuesday)]

Buffer posted 6/16/2020 19:55 PM

Hi Stilldenying,
You are strong and getting stronger every day. He is a pig, it is that simple. Take one day at a time. All I can offer is keep up IC, walk the dog, drink water talk and vent.
You are not crazy! He is. You know the truth. And it is a shit sandwich
Big cubes hugs, you will get through this.
One day at a time
Buffer

nekonamida posted 6/16/2020 21:38 PM

SD, are you entertaining the idea of getting back together with him to soothe your loneliness or because he's earned another chance? If it's not the latter, you will be back here with another broken promise, another broken boundary, and another DDay.

Stilldenying posted 6/27/2020 19:28 PM

We are 3 weeks with him at a hotel tomorrow and he's likely signed a furnished apartment short term lease. This is the first weekend literally no contact. It's really hard, not gonna lie. He thinks only one who needs therapy is me, he is who he is and I have everything all wrong and is done with my need to say the same things over and over. So, guess I will be heading to the S&D forum. Not what I wanted, and supposedly not what he wants long term but he says I gotta get myself help. 32 years...hello PTSD, fuck you!!