My H cheated twice. First was an EA for 4 years. That was decades ago but he refused to admit anything. Total gaslighting.
Second Affair was an EA - turned PA. He was going to D me to be with her.
During his last Affair he saw my pain and hurt. He did t care b/c it was all about him. He “deserved to be happy” and that was his focus. He saw me crying on the floor and stepped over me to go to a BBQ.
We did manage to reconcile. But not without professional counseling for each of us individually. But it took me time to make the full commitment to R.
His mid life crisis Affair almost caused our D. But he made tremendous effort and was remorseful. He immediately started making amends. He was completely honest and transparent with everything.
His actions proved to me I could reconcile. However I had to change. I no longer allow myself to be a doormat. I put my happiness first and focus on me - not him or the marriage as my first priority.
We have a different marriage now. Because I changed.
My point is on paper the odds were against us - but he we able to beat the odds and make changes. We are both happy. We are also lucky too.
[This message edited by The1stWife at 5:27 AM, February 28th (Thursday)]
