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I'd don my bitch boots immediately and plant them firmly on his arse. A polygraph in the first few weeks would have saved me months of TT.

That gave me a laugh!

I think stay or go...we all would have done things differently. It's just so dang hard when you get hit with the fact that your spouse is cheating. Your life comes to a screeching halt and you become numb, sick to your stomach, and literally in pain from all the crying, lack of sleep, mind movies etc. And not to mention TT...that compounds everything.

I would have definately kicked his ass out knowing what I know today. I suffered while he was able to come away unscathed. Having to endure TT still pisses me off to this day.

Once burnt twice remembered. Nothing he can say or do will ever restore my faith in his words ever again....even on the best of days. My spidey senses are much sharper now....and a hell of a lot less naive.

[This message edited by OneBrokenGirl at 8:52 PM, January 18th (Wednesday)]

6yrs post dday... I have no regrets about my decision to stay. I stayed on MY terms but more importantly WH stayed on MY terms.

Why did it work? Because my WH wanted R more than I did. On Dday I told him, "if you don't like life with me then pack your shit and get the f^*k out!" I meant it and he knew it.

I then proceeded to tell him that I was leaving the state, with or without him so he needed to get a new job, in a new location. I wasn't hanging around to be emotionally tortured by triggers. It took him 6mo but he got a new job 1600 miles away.

My list of requirements was endless but quite honestly, in my case, there is truth to: it's my way or the highway. I was willing to kick his ass to the curb during every step of the long road to R. Fear never paralyzed me.

I never would have believed I would end up okay, and still together, functioning happily in my M. My fear was the possibility of living life in a cell for killing him for what he did. He's a lucky man.