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Newest Member: Opacaro

Just Found Out :
Found H's email on AM

This Topic is Archived
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 HopefulMommy (original poster new member #49086) posted at 4:51 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2015

How do I check the data to find out if he actually had a paid profile? I downloaded some of the files but don't know how to open and read them.

Thanks for the help

posts: 7   ·   registered: Aug. 20th, 2015   ·   location: United States
id 7320784
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Alaska77 ( member #44743) posted at 5:11 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2015

I did too. I'd be HAPPY to pay someone to mine the data, package it up and send it to me. Surely this sevice will be offered shortly, right?

posts: 852   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Midwest (not Alaska)
id 7320819
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2015

I don't know the answer...I just wanted to say Im so sorry.

If you haven't confronted him yet..don't. Wait. gather evidence. Put a keylogger on his computer, and a VAR(voice activated recorder) in his car.

There is a thread on the general forum, dedicated to the AM leak. You might find some helpful info there.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=567920

[This message edited by confused615 at 11:14 AM, August 20th (Thursday)]

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 7320821
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mharris ( member #46683) posted at 5:22 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2015

There might be someone in the Investigative Tips forum here who could help.

posts: 3086   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2015   ·   location: North Carolina
id 7320831
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uuugh ( new member #49096) posted at 7:08 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2015

No Soliciting.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:27 PM, August 20th (Thursday)]

posts: 3   ·   registered: Aug. 20th, 2015   ·   location: San Francisco
id 7320977
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rugswept ( member #48084) posted at 2:40 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

from what i understand, AM had "no free profiles". anyone who had an account had to pay to set it up.

----

I AM CORRECTING THE ABOVE:

anyone reading this, please read ADryHeat, just below who discusses "free profiles".. i know so little about that site except that it is populated by lying cheating scum whose behavior i despise.

[This message edited by rugswept at 8:49 PM, August 20th (Thursday)]

R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.

posts: 1009   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: Northeast US
id 7321496
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ADryHeat ( member #46484) posted at 2:44 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

Rug swept, what I'm hearing is that you could create a free profile and lurk like a dirty sick creeper, but if you wanted to remove yourself and/or get deeper involved by interacting with fembot fake profiles--- er, I mean hot hot young single chicks who can't wait to fuck a sad sack of a married dude--- you had to pay.

Me: BSMarried 11 years, 2 young kidsDDay 11/3/14, Discovered he was still a fuckwit: 7/10/15 DIVORCED 11/12/2015"Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted."

posts: 2396   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2015   ·   location: AZ
id 7321499
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ThemotivatedMOM ( member #47422) posted at 2:45 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

I am soooo sorry you found yourself here. Please please don't confront him yet. Give it time to gather info.

DD: way to many to count
Lived with an NPD/Sociapath for 12 years
Broke free on my birthday 2013 and now own my own with custody of my kids after long custody and criminal battle for the abuse I endured for years.

posts: 220   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2015   ·   location: Ga
id 7321501
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fcasteel ( new member #49115) posted at 5:24 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

No Soliciting

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:03 AM, August 21st (Friday)]

posts: 6   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Laredo, TX
id 7321621
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Hart1968 ( member #48195) posted at 5:42 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

I had been hoping against hope that WSO would not show up on the list but it seems that he is. Not really sure how to figure out when or how long. This nightmare never seems to end.

Me: BSO 48
Him: WSO 54
DD 4/4/15 Online dating profiles
TT DD#2 8/31/15 EA with ex in Feb

posts: 50   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2015   ·   location: United States
id 7321641
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fcasteel ( new member #49115) posted at 5:44 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

No Soliciting

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:03 AM, August 21st (Friday)]

posts: 6   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Laredo, TX
id 7321643
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BrighterFuture ( member #38914) posted at 5:51 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

Yay! Fcasteel!

Thanks for joining. I sent you a PM.

Me:30
Him:31
D-day:2/24/13 (I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time and DS was 15 months)
Status: Parted ways!

"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.

posts: 539   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2013   ·   location: Ohio
id 7321647
sad1

DespondentOne ( new member #49138) posted at 6:15 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

PLEASE - I need help getting access to the data in the dump on DH. I signed up just for help with this part right now - I'm not ready to deal until I know what I'm dealing with - but the system doesn't seem to be letting me PM anyone. And related posts are being marked as Soliciting. What do I do?? :(

posts: 5   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015
id 7322212
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buttercups ( new member #49132) posted at 6:51 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

I am in a similar situation..

I typed in my husbands email on trustify and it came up as being on the AM data dump.

However, that is all it said and now I'm getting annoyed and frustrated trying to work out how to get any other information? I'm itching to confront him but I don't have enough evidence to present to him, but don't know where to find anything else. Feel as though I'm banging my head against a brick wall. Plus very annoyed and confused :(

posts: 13   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015
id 7322252
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confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 6:59 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

I was able to check email addresses...I don't know how people are finding names, addresses, credit car numbers,etc.

BUT..

There are things you can do.

First..don't confront. This will be very hard, but necessary. if you confront without hard evidence..you tip him off. He will take it further underground, and he will start deleting things.

Get a VAR. A voice activated recorder. Put it in his car. If he has another phone, he may use it in the car. If he is picking up OW in the car, the VAR will record their conversations.

Put a keylogger on his computer. Not his work computer, but the home computer, laptop, or tablet he uses at home.

Download spyware onto his phone.

Do these things asap. You will find more evidence doing this, than you will on any of the links to the dump. If he is cheating, the chances that AM is his only hookup site, is rare. If he is cheating, a VAR will get you recorder proof. The keylogger will give you passwords to any site he visits..including other email accounts you don't know about.

Good luck!

BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10



..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


posts: 15220   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2011
id 7322267
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ShiningAutumn8 ( member #42558) posted at 8:39 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

do you have access to the email account?

Use the "forgot my password" frature on ashleymadison.com

It will either ask you questions or send a link to his email. You need to be able to intercept the email and use the link, then delete the email (from trash too) before your husband an see it

Then get into the account that way and you will see all you need to know

posts: 1289   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2014
id 7322409
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atreides ( member #44180) posted at 9:09 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

OP if you go here, i gave instructions

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=567920&AP=181

posts: 389   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2014
id 7322457
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mharris ( member #46683) posted at 9:28 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2015

See if there were any charges made to your cc from him.

That will give you your answer. It will appear as ADL Media (I think) not Ashley Madison.

The charges would be for $49.95 for 100 credits, or $250 for 1000, that's most common.

[This message edited by mharris at 5:03 PM, August 21st (Friday)]

posts: 3086   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2015   ·   location: North Carolina
id 7322489
helpless

unloved22 ( member #49157) posted at 1:11 AM on Saturday, August 22nd, 2015

I am in the same boat. I have thought for a while something was going on for a lot of reasons. Not sure what to do or where to turn. He is constantly lying about where he is and changes the lock on his phone anytime he has to tell me so I can make a call. I am so tired of bull. He checks into the gym on facebook but is never there, he comes home and rarely seems like he has "worked out".

1st WH D-day after divorce (physical abuse caused divorce)
One child together (Elementary Age)
1st WH married his EA/PA
Married to 2nd husband with recent suspicions and triggering behavior.

posts: 61   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015
id 7322717
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imsickofyou ( new member #49164) posted at 4:06 PM on Saturday, August 22nd, 2015

Add me to the list, but first I want to explain why I am "imsickofyou". I tried a bunch of user names but all were taken. I guess people in pain think alike. I've been enduring this pain and waiting for my husband to return from a business trip (and reading about other's pain and advice). He came back last night and hid by hanging out with the kids. This morning when I asked why he wasn't talking to me, he drove off and as he was leaving said "I'm sick of you."

When I found his email on the AM checker two days ago I informed him of what I found. He replied by saying that he wasn't surprised that he got solicitations from them several months in his inbox and then they suddenly stopped. I told him that no, this isn't a list of people on a mailing list, it's people who had accounts. He's still denying it and getting mad at me for accusing him.

Several years ago, 4-5, he was away from home for a year for work and had an EA, which I discovered through his suspicious behavior and phone records. He eventually admitted that it was an EA but now denies it and says they were just friends. This to me, coupled with his anger, is just more proof that he is lying about the AM thing. I've asked a couple of people to get his info for me, but haven't gotten it yet. I am not at all tech savvy and am afraid of what I'd do if I tried to get it myself.

He just caught me writing and again when I said just tell me the truth he said he isn't happy and is in a miserable marriage. He says there is no point in trying to change it because I won't do anything about it. I'm overweight and he blames this for everything. It's hard to lose weight when you are depressed and alone, working full time, taking care of a house and kids, and feel lonely all the time.

He accused me of acting like a victim and asked why I keep him around. I told him that I'm no one's victim. I told him if he's so unhappy in the marriage he needs to do something about it. I'm not going to be the one who takes care of this for him too. I've done everything throughout the marriage, supported the family, helped him get advanced degrees to help his earning capacity, and he still makes less than me.

My son is very sensitive and would be devastated from a divorce. I'm just trying to hold on for his sake. My daughter is away at school and I need his help paying for that. He's mentioned taking a job in another state and I've encouraged him to do that (I'm staying put). My life is an absolute disaster and I have no idea how to fix it.

Married almost 25 years.
Two children.

posts: 19   ·   registered: Aug. 22nd, 2015
id 7323155
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