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General :
Exposing other man

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 Uhtred (original poster member #40392) posted at 12:52 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Everyone,

I've seriously considered creating a web page to include the pictures that this ass hat sent to my wife. He sent all of these by email and text and since the phone is in my name I don't see why there would be any legal issues with it.

He's a grandpa and I'd love for someone to search his name and be directed to my site! After all he's ruined in my life I'd like to return the favor. I'll never forgive him so I'd love to have some fun at his expense for once. He had a lot of fun on my dime. He's a "Well Respected" person so I've been told for British Petroleum.

After all, I paid for all the gas that my wife burned up driving to meet him. Hell I even paid for a hotel bill once on a credit card my wife reopened in my name.

What say you SI? Am I going to get in trouble for this? It really brings an evil smile across my lips when I think about it!

I'll never be fully compensated for what has happened but fate is a fickle bitch.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 665   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6711979
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kenny55 ( member #23014) posted at 1:02 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Don't do it!!!!!!!!!! I know you want to get back at him but this could backfire big time.

posts: 564   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2009
id 6711991
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Ivyivy ( member #42110) posted at 2:15 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I would guess that it might be better not to. I hear you and I understand the drive to hurt him, but in the end, he is not even worth the strength that it takes you to hate him. It just isn't worth the risk. Focus on you - he is not worth your time or thoughts.

Me -BW
Him - WH
LTA
Dday 7/11/2013
DS - 12 and DD - 16

posts: 334   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast
id 6712071
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StuckinNJagain ( member #42140) posted at 2:19 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I know exactly what you mean. Similar type situation with WW & OM sans age. Big exec who I would love to take down. However tempting it may seem, you will soon realize, like me, that our issue is with your WS. Your WS broke the vows, promises and most of all, betrayed your trust. It is a bitter pill to swallow. I choke on it regularly. I did confront and contact OM and his BS though. Misery loves company.

BH-46 (me)
WS-44
DD-16
DS-12
First Dday-2/09
Sec Dday-1/14
Married 17 yrs. Together 26

posts: 58   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2014   ·   location: NJ
id 6712080
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craig2001 ( member #55) posted at 2:20 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

There used to be a website that allowed names to be posted of those caught having affairs. I dont even know if they are around anymore.

Does this guy own any type of business in any way. Would make a hell of a Yelp review.

You will think of something.

posts: 7391   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2002   ·   location: USA
id 6712082
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LostSamurai ( member #41347) posted at 2:40 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

You will here SI Staff say, they don't condone revenge.

That is true.

Also, I am not sure what the legal ramifications are there, but that could be consider defamation of Character I believe.

But all said, it is your choice. And if you create a web page, yes it will be traced to you. There is no hiding that.

I am the wandering samurai, and I found my freedom...

posts: 1045   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Maryland
id 6712105
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 Uhtred (original poster member #40392) posted at 2:43 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Although I know the issue is with my WW, this is personal. I knew this son of a bitch and it's personal. Any legal ramifications?

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 665   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6712109
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 Uhtred (original poster member #40392) posted at 2:45 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I can't help but feel like I own the information he sent. The phones belong to me. One was mine and the others my wife's. I own the accounts.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 665   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6712114
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seenow ( member #40720) posted at 2:50 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

And what if he posted the pics your wife sent to him?

posts: 428   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2013   ·   location: mountain west
id 6712123
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MissMouseMo ( member #38562) posted at 3:02 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I understand he urge but he can sue.

You may own the pictures and be within your rights(I have NO clue of the legalities), but he can file and make you defend yourself. That's an expensive risk to me.

And like SI's policy: I don't think cultivating revenge is best for you.

"I edit, therefore I am." -BionicGal

posts: 527   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2013
id 6712138
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Areukiddingme ( member #41950) posted at 3:26 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Oh don't we all want a little revenge? I feel your pain. My sister has been talking me down tonight because my Husbands OW is coming to my work place again tomorrow! I always have bad days when I have to see her within throat punching distance. She has several bible verses on her Facebook page and it makes me sick. Don't do anything to jeopardize yourself in any way. I promise you, it's not worth it. My mantra is " I won't look good in prison stripes, I won't look good in prison stripes." Hang in there. You are a better person.

posts: 65   ·   registered: Jan. 7th, 2014   ·   location: Southeast
id 6712160
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 Uhtred (original poster member #40392) posted at 3:26 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

As far as I'm concerned that's for her to own not me.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 665   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6712162
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still-living ( member #30434) posted at 3:29 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I had the same urges of revenge in the beginning but never followed through. My IC talked me out of it.

Now what I see. This magnitude of revenge does not permanently solve your pain. Plus, he could sue you. Another thing, -your legacy, for those looking up to you, how will this impact their perception of you?

posts: 1819   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2010
id 6712165
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wontdefineme ( member #31421) posted at 3:32 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Couldn't you just sell them or give them to a news organization. Inquiring minds want to know...

posts: 2328   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2011
id 6712175
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flup ( member #21259) posted at 5:02 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I'm sure he can sue for slander... but the charges will stick only if they're NOT true. And, you have to consider how much he'll want to stand up in a courtroom and swear that his testimony about what HE did is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I'd bet he wouldn't.

I did what you're thinking of... and I'm not allowed to say what the site is - and I may get in trouble for not telling you to not do that.

I did what you want to do, and it gave me back a piece of self-respect. I was no longer in the "reactive" mode - by outing OM I was proactive and called him out in front of everybody. I told OM that I'd take it down only if his BS called me and asked - not if he asked. I needed to know that she knew what a POS he was.

Me: BS 59Her: fWW 54

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.

posts: 444   ·   registered: Oct. 15th, 2008   ·   location: Ohio
id 6712256
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 Uhtred (original poster member #40392) posted at 5:14 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Thanks for the responses. I did get my revenge physically. I know a lot of people here don't condone it. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't get in trouble. A good reason was the other man's wife was merciful and in some sort of a way and knew that he deserved it.

I'm not a bible thumper by any stretch of the imagination. I happened to stumble upon this. I realized that I hadn't done all I could do. I'm not going to kill this pos because he's not worth my freedom. I just want the reckoning.

For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 665   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6712271
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theansweris42 ( new member #40861) posted at 6:57 AM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

A girl I know who makes less-than-optimal choices in dating partners met and had a brief relationship with a man who was in the country illegally and conducting business illegally (and also married to a woman in his home country, but failed to mention that fact to this girl). When she found out, she sought revenge by contacting immigration and having him deported from the country.

A few months later, a website called "thisisgirliknow.com" popped up on the Internet. It had unflattering pictures of her, and a lot of personal information about her that could potentially jeopardize her career in the mental health system (stuff about her being in therapy, medicine, FOO issues, you name it...).

She flipped, called a lawyer, and the lawyer said that, basically, there was nothing she could do to get the website taken down. Luckily, I guess the guy decided that paying the couple of dollars for a domain name per month wasn't worth it. I just checked and the website has since disappeared.

Regardless, revenge is dangerous because you never know how the other person will retaliate. Not worth it in my view.

[This message edited by theansweris42 at 12:59 AM, March 6th (Thursday)]

posts: 32   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Across the pond.
id 6712317
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LostSamurai ( member #41347) posted at 2:15 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

So how did you get your revenge physically? Did you actually knock him around a couple of times?

I am the wandering samurai, and I found my freedom...

posts: 1045   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Maryland
id 6712557
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refuz2bavictim ( member #27176) posted at 3:01 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

I did get my revenge physically.

And that wasn't enough?

Foresight is 2020

posts: 2414   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2010
id 6712640
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 Uhtred (original poster member #40392) posted at 4:45 PM on Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Lost Samurai, I won't go into it so much here but yes I did "knock" him around.

Refuz, It wasn't enough.

Me: BH 38years old DDay 4-29-13Her: FWW 39

posts: 665   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2013   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 6712827
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