Heartbroken

So 15 weeks ago I was bombarded with messages on social media by a colleague that used to work with my partner.

Letting me know some of the things she had been Upto.

For 15 weeks she categorically denied it all, turning it around on me and repeatedly telling me I was just looking for a way out and it was people making stuff up.

Everyday I just asked for the truth. I had a gut feeling and I knew it was true.

She wouldn’t give me answers and every time I asked it turned into an argument.

I gave her every opportunity to come clean and hold on to any respect for me she had left and her own dignity.

She even told me she would take a lie detector test. She has lied about everything.

By downloading historic data and messages on her phone I have now found out the truth.

She has been having an affair and having sex with the neighbour sneaking out when I was asleep to have sex in the back of his work van then coming home to myself and the kids like there was nothing wrong.

2 doors down.

What makes this worse is that this happened when I was recovering from major surgery. I have had 3 surgeries in the last so many years and have been told twice they may need to amputate my leg.

I have had a lot of trauma following on from and accident and for the last 10 years or so but in particular the last 3 have suffered with my mental health. I was diagnosed with PTSD.

She was helping me and looking after me, then doing this in her space time.

The relationship and social media had been maintained and he was saved under a girls name from work in her phone book.

Even when caught out she had nowhere to go but continued to give me the trickle truth.

I have had a little bit of a mental break down.

I’ve shaved my head, I’ve smashed up his house and cars and acted in a way that I don’t condone but I was unbelievably angry.

I am absolutely heartbroken.

I’ve cried myself to sleep over and over again.

I want to try and forgive her. I want to try and move on. I want my family to remain together but I don’t know what to do.

I have allowed her to come back home and we have spoken.

But I fear that she may be saying all the right things but does she mean them.

Is she genuinely sorry or is she just sorry she got caught.

She had no intention of me finding out and she had zero intention of ever coming clean. It’s only due to my detective work I uncovered the truth.

Any advice is welcomed.

1 comment posted: Thursday, June 25th, 2026