Am I really here?
22 August 2026 I found out my super kind and sweet husband had been having an affair with some who works for him. I haven’t slept properly, I’ve lost about 10 kilos from not eating. At first, my resting heart rate was in the 90s, at least that’s settled.
The more details I add the worse it gets. He trickle truthed me at first. It was only a couple of months while we were separated, then never while we lived together. Then, it was happening right up to January this year.
My husband and I have been together for awhile, and our relationship has endured different seasons. But now I look at him and I don’t know him. At first, when I found out I asked too many explicit questions, which he unfortunately answered. Now I am left heartbroken.
He started a business in 2018, employed her remotely in 2019. Then in 2022 she moved cities to be in the same city as us. At that time her marriage fell apart.
I hold him responsible 100%. And he betrayed me. However, she booked the hotel the first time. She love bombed him with gifts. Moving cities, according to her, was partly motivated by being near him. I have so much hate towards her.
I want to heal, I want to build a happy and healthy marriage. I want to look at my husband and not imagine him with her.
For the short term, they need to work together. She now works from home and their contact is through work channels only which I see most days. I am satisfied the affair is over, he shares his location I do not think they have continued. But how do we progress? I think I’m ok, then while lying in bed a violent jerk awake because the images in my mind are so traumatising.
I want my marriage. I want my husband. I want my life back.
5 comments posted: Friday, June 5th, 2026
