Affair has come up 27 yrs later ...Advice needed

I betrayed my husband 27 years ago for a short term emotional affair that turned into 4 sexual incidences. I was not honest to my spouse at the time of discovery bc I knew his personality and potential to become enraged he would leave me and our 2 young daughters. I immediately stopped complete contact with the other person, which my husband finds completely impossible. I can say I do not remember all aspects of the entire weeks of the affair. This leads me to my question of advice. About 4-6 months ago husband found a recording that he brought to my attention. A call to a girlfriend saying what had happened and stated a few incriminating and vague statements that needed explaining. About 5 of 7 days , maybe everyday , we had open discussion about what happened 27 years ago. I often said I do not really remember. Honestly !! He accused me of lying. After repeated statements of I do not know, it was 27 years ago ! " How many affairs have you had ?" Hahaha Surely you can remember someone you had relations with. We did a lot of good web video seminars, he read a helpful book that we would discuss daily. So on .

WE love each other and have toyed with the idea of separation,, but we are hopefully on the complete road to staying married.

How can I help my husband recover from what I did for no apparent reason that is at all logical to have ruined my marriage , our wedding day vows, crushed his self worth ?

Me not being able to provide spouse with what he thinks are "correct and logical" responses is keeping him from recovery.

Trauma was also to me , I am ashamed and feel like a hooker.

Ability to not recall after 27 years, is there a real medical name for something I feel ?

3 comments posted: Thursday, March 20th, 2025