Need advice

I caught my wife cheating on me with our home security system.
My wife has been struggling with alcohol for years. A few months before she cheated she was prescribed to antidepressants. While on her medicine if she drank she would almost become like a zombie. She would be there but mentally was gone.
I was out of town the day this all happened and throughout the day I asked her not to drink but she did. Her car battery died while she was out and the person she was on the phone with sent her friend to help my wife jump her car. My wife says she doesn’t remember anything from here on. That she was completely blacked out.
After seeing everything on our camera I changed my flight and flew home immediately. We of course got into a huge fight over everything and she was still mentally not there the following morning.
I love my wife more than anything. We are about to have our 4 year anniversary. But everything I read is that it takes 2 years to even start to really get over this. Is it worth it? Is she lying to me about not remembering anything? If she was that drunk then this was sexual assault. But we move into all the other problems with her drinking then. I asked her for years to clean up. Slow down. I feel like she didn’t value me enough to make a change then. She had to hit rock bottom and ruin everything we had to realize she had a problem?
It’s been just over a month now and I have my good days and bad days. We both have quit drinking since the incident and we try to talk about everything. My wife is known to bottle up her feelings so she’s opening up more. I’ve gotten slightly better with my outburst as well.
Would like to get others opinions on this.
Thanks

10 comments posted: Friday, March 7th, 2025