Being proud of your husband

I am so early in my journey but the folks that are down the line, do you feel proud of your WH and your marriage again? Is it possible to get this back? I feel like all my husbands achievements and sacrifices prior to his affair have been wiped out by this act, his entire character is tainted, he is so deep in shame that I don't think we can even work on the marriage yet, his shame and guilt has got him to a suicide attempt, so this is something that I can discuss with him as I am just telling him what he already knows. Would love people's thoughts on this that are deep in the reconciliation journey

5 comments posted: Friday, March 14th, 2025

DD2 - broken

So like a lot of people here I was rocked when the full truth finally came out a few weeks later, affair was physical, is it actually possible to move on knowing your husband is capable of something like this! I can't think straight, he is doing all the right things (apart from being honest on day 1), and when I am with him it's like I disassociate the things he done and the person I thought I was married to. He is telling me he knows he not only betrayed me but he broke his own moral code and that is something he really needs to dig into, he feels like he was living an alternative reality when he was with her and was able to box it away and not put a label on it. He ended it late last year when he said he had finally woke up to what he was doing and what he was risking it. I don't know whether to ask him to leave so I can try and decide if I truly want him or if I am clinging to a life I thought we had. How do you know if it is right to reconcile or right to kick him out....I'm so confused, doesn't help that AP has made this very public, by sharing their texts etc she isn't happy when he ended it and wants to make sure everyone knows what he has done so I am facing the reality that I can't do this privately and also have read some tortures things that will be burned into my brain forever

19 comments posted: Sunday, March 9th, 2025

What's normal

I am on day 4 since finding out, the first 3 days I moved out (my choice) as I couldn't face our home. My questions are this, for me to process this do I have to have more space away from him, right now I find it easier to be in his company so he can answer all my questions (timeline confirmed) having him around calms me, but once I am on my own my brain goes mental, not because I don't know where he is but I just need to be with him, is not taking time to be on my own going to cause issues later? Is it normal to seek his comfort even though he caused the hurt (no sex, just holding me), and lastly should I be feeling anger? I don't, we are both so broken, I can see he is hurting (and rightly so) but I still hate to see it, sorry for long post. The infidelity was flirty texts (no sexting) during working hours and some kissing on work night outs, all confirmed as much as it can be

7 comments posted: Tuesday, February 11th, 2025