A week into processing

So here’s my story:

On a random Tuesday my husband comes down and tells me we need to talk about my best friend. I’m confused and he starts telling me that he never planned for me to know know this but she threatened to tell me and he feels it’s his responsibility to tell me…

They had several "encounters" together…

1st one happened 2 months before the wedding: she came to visit me (we live in different countries) and stayed with us. It was common for them to stay up later than me when drinking cause neither of them knows when to stop… but in this night they both went upstairs. My husband went to the bathroom and when he came out she was undressed with the door opened and he walked to the doorway…they kissed…she started taking his clothes off as well and eventually he stopped her before anything actually happened.

2nd time was several months after the wedding - I was pregnant with our first son…they again had a very drunk chat over snapchat that turned into them sending each other pics/videos

3rd time was same as last time

4th time was when she came to visit me and our newborn son…again they continued drinking and playing video games later than they should have…I was upstairs sleeping with our baby…he came up and she texted him to come down cause she needed him…he went…she asked for a cuddle as she was sad and lonely…he got in bed with her and gave her a cuddle…she placed his hand on her boob…and eventually in her pants…he gave her a handjob…once she tried to touch him he sort of realised what he was doing and got up and left…she asked for him to come down every night for the rest of his stay but he didn’t…

5th time I was now pregnant with baby n2 and they’ve exchanged pics/videos on snapchat again (this was just before last Christmas)

On Christmas Day we had a huge argument and i didn’t think we’d be able to continue as partners anymore. But it was that argument that made him pull his shit together and this year he’s been the best husband and the best father I could’ve ever asked for

He started addressing his issues with drinking and hasn’t been staying up so late which meant he was more present with us during the day.

I am at a loss about what to do next…all my logic is telling me to leave him that I need to go now before i get hurt anymore, but something is telling me we can work this out…I don’t know if I’m feeling like this because I’m pregnant and don’t want to break up the family unit - especially the one we’ve had for the last month…but I also don’t know if I’ll ever trust for him to not hurt me again

Just to add - I’ve listened to both sides of the story and my "best friend" claims that this has all happened because my husband has been giving her looks and making suggestive comments every time they met for the last 10 years (I personally don’t believe that to be true) and she eventually just gave into him…

6 comments posted: Monday, February 3rd, 2025