Church Related

So, I found out last night that a male member of our church has been calling my wife without my knowledge 4-5 times per week since this past April. They are both volunteers in the same ministry at our church. Several days they are talking 2-3 times with enough call logs showing minutes ranging from 18-42 minutes. He has called her early in the morning when she is driving to work as well as in the evening. He also contacted her during Thanksgiving holidays recently when we visiting my mother. Also, earlier in Nov when our family was at Disney. There are texts on Instagram and FB messenger over the last several months as well but not as many as the iMessages. Whatever.

The texts across the various platforms seem related to the ministry for the most part. It’s the calls that I have no idea of the content.
The 3-4 times I overheard the calls I thought he was sharing too much personal information that was not related to the ministry. Just enough to irk my spidey senses which lead to my investigation and finding all of phone calls logs and texts.

Most of the initiation of contact has been from him BUT she made the choice to keep answering the phone and engaging. We had a talk last night and she admitted that it was wrong but didn’t think it was at the time until I brought it to her attention.

I’m 54. She’s 58. I’ve been through pretty much an emotional affairs with her about 6 years ago through a guy at work. He had tested positive for marijuana and got fired but she fought vehemently to get him rehired. He was "depressed" and she kept reaching out asking how he was feeling and sending 😘and ❤️. She got him another job at her work. She was his boss and had made the rule about testing for MJ=loss of job.

I haven’t seen any 😘❤️ emojis going back and forth between this guy in the ministry but she has broken our rule of no personal texting of opposite sex with copying/including me in the thread.

I’m a former lurker of this site from the 😘❤️ era that I mentioned. It took a few years to get over the coworker but now I’m here again. Similar but different yet same, I guess.

Am I overreacting to the current situation with the guy in the same ministry as her? I’m very pissed, feel betrayed but am trying to figure out if it’s the past wounds exaggerating my emotions.

Either way, this sucks.

Sorry if I’m a bit incoherent but I didn’t get much sleep last night. Yay.

58 comments posted: Friday, December 6th, 2024