Is the subreddit survivinginfidelity associated with this website?

Just wondering the the title is true? If so, it's quite strange that the subreddit is quite anti-R with maybe only less than 10% people who are considering or going through R.

This website however feels more pro-R.

Any idea why the discrepancy?

6 comments posted: Friday, November 15th, 2024

Healing with WP without R

Here's my situation, I've split with WP but I am considering healing with the cooperation of WP without being in R. R is not completely ruled out by me, but I'm really still trying to figure out what I want. Has anyone done anything similar here?

I ask this because I've read several things online, in a few books and in videos/podcasts that healing of the BP needs the WP even though it sounds counterintuitive. I held this as the truth and it sort of made sense to me. I did also want to practise some of the things I've been reading with WP to improve myself regardless of what path I go down. However, the past week has cast a bit of doubt over whether it is in fact better to heal with WP or not. Some says that it makes no sense to heal with someone who abused you through infidelity and the person who caused you trauma isn't going to do you any good. This made sense to me too. I know that a rape victim would not be working out stuff with their rapist in order to heal. Now I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts on this as well?

5 comments posted: Friday, November 15th, 2024

Some questions before considering Reconciliation

I'm about a month since dday, not married, no kids. We've been together for 8.5 years. I found out WP had cheated on me a few times through out relationship. They are very remorseful, sought counselling and therapy and trying to turn their life around.

There are a few thoughts and questions I'm struggling with and I understand therapy might answer some, but they are things that I would like to have an idea on before deciding to R or not to R. If any of you have faced them, please let me know how you dealt or processed it.

1. I'm don't really feel the same for the WP anymore, the love is gone after finding out, does reconciliation only work if there is a feeling there and not just marriage or kids?

2. I'm struggling to name any good things about WP right now, did any of you struggle with this and did it improve as time went on?

3. Going forwards, I don't know what the WP would bring to the relationship, okay, they might be a better person and healed, but what's in it for me?

4. Why don't I find someone else? Why stay with someone who I hate and is the cause of my trauma?

5. When would I ever work on myself? If I was to reconcile with WP, I don't feel like I want to put the work in to change for them as I would someone new. But I realise the problems in the relationship before would still be there, and part of that I need to change. How can I do this, and at what point in the process would I be willing to?

Thank you for your replies in advance.

7 comments posted: Sunday, October 13th, 2024