How long is it going to take

My wife has another, he is a married man and in most or every aspect better than me: richer, higher educated, emotionally available to his kids, looks, maturity and so on. But they won't choose for eachother because, she says wouldn't stay for very long, because it would be the same situation for her. At the same time, when we have emotional talks she says that she has a place for him in her heart. When the relationship came in to the light, she played it down. That she should have never gone to the appointment. Later she accused me to be cause for the affair. And yes, we had our troubles. Because i didnt wanted fights i always isolated myself and didnt react or speak to her for days and sometimes weeks. Also I had once an emotional breakdown because of my child and workload during covid. and i dumped all my emotional garbage on her. A few talks later she for herself decided to disengage. I had no idea. I thought by informing her about my life, she would understand me.

Its now almost a year later and she does (gradually)talk differently than before, but she still repeatedly asks for time and space (for 6months ) now.

And every time i have a bit trust build, it is crushed when i find out that she visited him, because of his birtday or because they had a fight last time or because it was spontanious. She says that she will stay or when i repeat her words, rather (later talks) it is her wish to stay.

The pain is less than before, but i cant and wont endure for years and years, but i still hope for her to finally choose me.

I said to her that i deserve a wife who chooses me. That it's not fair to me for her to drag this on for years and years.

She answered that it's going to take months.

In the meantime she is improving herself:teeth, new wardrobe.

I fear what is going to come.

Today she is away for a half day because of a festivity. But she is not sharing any pictures. So i guess she is with him, with whom, in her words, she mostly talks.

Should i confront her or not?

24 comments posted: Wednesday, November 6th, 2024