long term affair for more than 5 years. help

i just found the evidence of his affair, but haven’t confronted him yet. i always have my suspicions but never have a real proof, and he always so perfect around me & our daughter.

the shocking news is i think he’s having an affair for almost 5 years. which is half of our marriage. he’s always been that perfect husband my friends are all talking about.

my world is falling apart. i don’t want to confront him yet but i just can’t face him either. 😢

the other woman is divorcee with a son. and they met from work related meetings. 3 years a go i found videos of her (nudes etc) but he said it’s porn that he subscribed to, he even swore on his mom’s life. since i don’t have any more evidence i just have to let it go.

but he still keep assuring me with his actions to prove his innocent. sending me pics when he’s meeting clients overtime, video call when he have to go home late etc, never protective of his phone or laptop.

but i think the truth will reveal by itself and i accidentally found her number and do some research.

i think mostly is because of his fetish (and he once told me he thinks he addicted to sex) and i’m not the one who enjoys sex a lot. but we still did it, just not every day. he never asks me for sex, which i asked him before. and he said he doesn’t want to pressure me because i’m too tired, and he’s enough by masturbating to porn. i know it’s somehow a red flag but i just think i’m so lucky to have such a considerate husband. i want to confront him but i’m afraid he’ll be leaving us.

note: 3 years ago (not long after i found the nudes and vids) i realized i have HPV (vaginal warts). he keep assuring me, maybe we got it from our previous relationship (almost 20 years ago). which is super rare for vaginal warts to come up after that very long time. even after i got HPV he still keep seeing her till today.

do you guys think, it’s possible for him to change? i don’t have a choice but to stay at this marriage for the sake of my daughter.

4 comments posted: Saturday, January 13th, 2024