New here old problem
Mw BH 62 YO
WW 61 YO
SERIES OF affairs ( 3) began before wedding (1987)
1) EA became PA one occurence
2) Ea after relocation from west coast to east one occurrence at conference in Chicago
3) long term boss 4 years
Ww spouse broke off " to work on my marriage"
Knew something was happening
Always denied
" ur paranoid' crazy"
All ended 1996 or so
DDay sept 2023 from confession from ww , when I brought up Subject
Wwp said " why bring that up again"
I replied has been with me everyday
Confession followed
Strangely I felt like a different person post confession I believe due to removal of doublt which I now realize had become an entity of anxiety and anger that was always there but subconscious .
We have been together 42 years
Married 36years
3 adult children
1 grand child
Ww has written dated signed confession
Nothing else wayward wise since
Per her and my anxiety
Obsessed observations
Starting Ic both
Question also Mc
Ww has agreed to post nuptial
Leaving her only her retirement
Nothing else ie houses etc
I know it will need to be her attorney
Have been in hysterical bonding since dday
Much increase from standard
10 X weekly
During affair time I was med student / resident/ new doc starting own practice
Before wedding lived apart 200 miles
Have read extensively re this issue
Here is my issue
I still love her and can not and will not live without her
She has begged pleaded to let her stay
And agreed to all requests
Including contacting spouse First AP spouse (A 36 yo )to inform
My first IC tuesday
Ww sorting insurance coverage should be scheduled this week
I am a different person than I have been last 36 years since Dday
I like who I am now
Hindsight now 20/20
I do not like or respect whom I was
The anxiety anger complex from the doubt I fell injured my relationship with children
I really don't belive they know the actual me
QUESTION OF THE DAY
What to do re telling the kids about this all
I want to fix my relationship with them but I am I just being selfish or vindictive
Last point I am a surgeon normally
Fix things by removing them or reparing
Never a big believer in psychological " arts"
Always said whatever does not kill us makes us stronger
Well not dead or feeling any stronger
I want reconciliation
In some ways happier then ever
But can not go forward with the pain,insomnia,intrusive thoughts
Last point
Recently lost 73 lbs
Thank you for your help with this matter
25 comments posted: Sunday, November 26th, 2023
