I'm new...

I just need to vent.

Five years ago I caught my husband cheating. It was one the worst days of my life. That evening we had a long conversation. When I asked him why, he said it was because I wasn't showing him enough affection. Our third child was not even a year old at the time and I was still suffering from the "baby blues" so of course I didn't feel like sex all the time. He told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me and he was sorry. It took a long time for me to trust him again. Things eventually went back to normal.

Fast forward to last month. A family friend of my husband's is going through a rough time. We'll call her Sally. Sally had a domestic violence situation so we agreed that she and her two teenage boys could come stay in our RV/camper for a while until she found another place to live. Things were going okay.

We had been hanging out on the front porch one evening. I got cold and decided to go inside. My husband and Sally stayed outside, without me, for well over an hour. Kinda irked me. Sally was always hanging out with us in the evenings too and that was irking me.

A week or so later, my husband went down to the RV/camper to help Sally set up the TV box. He was down there for too long in my opinion. Me, being slightly crazy, decided to go through my husband's phone. There was a snap chat message from Sally that he saved that said "And I promise one day I'll be able to shout it to the world. I'm 'SALLY' AND I'M JONATHAN'S GIRL!!!"

Guess what I did? I stormed down to the RV and busted open the door. Sally was sitting on the bed under the blanket and my husband was laying on his side next to her. He jumped up so fast. I said what the f**ck are you doing. They both denied anything. I started ranting and then went outside to cry.

My husband followed me and swore up and down that nothing was going on. I asked him what the snap message was and he said he had been "talking sh*t" to her back when he cheated on me. This was all news to me. He never once mentioned Sally's name.

But here's the thing, this snap message was from a month before she came to stay with us. It had the month and date, but no year. I'm pretty sure if it was old it would've said the year; am I right?

So the next day Sally decided to come talk to me. She also swore they didn't do anything, she doesn't want my husband, blah, blah, blah. I'm not a confrontational person usually, so I didn't say anything about this snap message. I just pretended that I agreed with her.

Last week, because I'm still not convinced, I went through my husband's phone again. Guess what I found in his hidden picture folder? A boob picture from Sally. I went crazy again. Now, I know my husband is a perv and loves boobs. He said Sally asked him if he could grill dinner that night and his reply was "only if you send me a picture of your boobs," so she did.

I sent Sally a text letting her know I saw the picture and thanks for lying to me. She came to talk to me again. Same thing, denied wanting my husband, said she had actually been talking to someone and was planning on going out on a date. I still don't believe her.

My husband keeps telling me that nothing ever happened between them, nothing's going to happen between them, he doesn't want to have sex with her, he loves me and wants to be with me. We've been married for 18 years. He is the love of my life, regardless. I don't want a divorce. I don't think he wants a divorce. I just don't know how to get past this. I just don't know how to stop thinking about this. Sally has been staying to herself in the RV lately, so it is a little bit better. But I just can't stop overthinking.

Thank you for reading. Any advice is welcome.

13 comments posted: Thursday, November 2nd, 2023