I'm confused and I don't know what to think

I found out that while my SO and I were long distance for a short period (I was working across the country) he had an A with a woman he just met. He confessed and told me everything. According to him, the OW asked to have sex with him several times one morning, and each time he said no. They were alone in a room, where she then got naked and asked him once more, in which he said yes. They then slept with each other many times for several days after that. WP says that the first time was sexual coercion, which I can agree with. What I'm confused about is, he said if the first time never happened, then the subsequent times never would have either. And that the first dalliance shouldn't count since he was coerced. Therefore, according to him, the others shouldn't count either. But I feel as though all of the other times should count since he freely said yes following the first incident and stayed with her for several days. I'm confused and conflicted. One on hand I am so angry and hurt and I feel like my whole world has fallen out from under me. On the other hand, I feel guilty for being so angry if the whole situation does fall into coercion. I don't know how to feel and if my anger is justified or if I should forgive him since he did try to say no. Any advice on how to navigate this would be appreciated.

24 comments posted: Saturday, October 21st, 2023