Recording
Hi everyone. It's been a while. Now a year and half since dd. I'm still in recovery mode however my WS is trying to move on and put what she is calling a "mental breakdow" behind her.
My problem is. Partly self inflicted.
Quick recap.
1. Caught wife cuddling AP on work do. I felt uncomfortable.
2. Checked texts and saw more going on in background.
3. Spoke about it. WS confirmed it was an emotional affair.
4. Started couples cancelling.
5. Things still didn't feel right. Gut feeling.
6. Put secret Recording device in car. Not my proudest moment.
7. Life ended . Went from emotional affair to physical one.
8. Now recovering. Couple and individual therapy.
Like I say, It's the recording that's now triggering me.
Yes the intimate part really hurts. But that's not the worst.
It's the negative things she said about me and how our marriage.
I just can't shake it.
Has anyone else overheard or read texts that seam to be doing more damage than the act it self.
Thanks for any help or advice in advance.
27 comments posted: Wednesday, June 19th, 2024
Recording device.
Hi everyone. I'm M44 married to W42 For 20 year's now. It's been 1 year since 1st DD. 9 months since 2nd DD. After the 1st DD my wife admitted to an emotional affair with a M coworker. This destroyed me enough. But still suspicious. I put a voice recorder in W car. (Not my proudest moment) I then discovered the 2nd DD. Hearing my W put me down. Having sex with AP. plan a future together.. its the little things she said That I still can't get out my head. I feel like I cant bring it up anymore because its self-inflicted pain. Has anyone one else done something like this. How did you manage.
13 comments posted: Monday, January 22nd, 2024
will this feeling go away
Hi, 1st time posting on this forum. depending on when I'm classing DD I am anywhere between 10 months to 6 months on from when my wife and an affair with a co-worker. we are going to couples canceling still. plus having our individual canceling sessions. overall things are very positive. I've chilled back out, she is working hard to get us back together. we have spoken about everything in our sessions and I think I know everything that I want to know. I just can't shake this feeling that I want to shout and scream at her for what she has done. I don't want her to answer or anything. just sit and listen to how she has manipulated, lied, and changed me. I've even written a letter explaining my feelings, I just don't know if it's the right thing to do, or even have the confidence to do it.
11 comments posted: Tuesday, October 24th, 2023
Reply
Hi. Silly question. How do i reply to people's messages on my feed.
5 comments posted: Wednesday, October 4th, 2023
My Story. how long will it hurt
Hi, All new to this. my name is S (age mid 40). I've been married for just over 21 years now to my wife. (Same age) we have 4 kids together between 20 and 12.. home life is crazy but i thought we were ok. my story is... just after charismas 2023, My Wife went out on a works party. i normally pick her and some mates up at the end of the evening and drop them home. This time It was only her and the OG. It was very cold outside, and they were cuddling each other in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. The next day I brought this up to My wife and said it made me feel very uncomfortable. She said they were just friends and it meant nothing. I ask her not to do that again and thought everything was ok.
2 months later there was another works party. Someone’s leaving party. This time when she was getting ready, I noticed she got very dressed up and was looking very good. Silly I didn’t think to much off it at the time. That night as I was driving around the corner to pick them up. I saw my wife and the OG coming out from around the corner, on their own. Arm in arm and acting very over friendly. When they caught up with their friends. He walked off the everyone got in the car. I was fuming and so angry inside. But my wife was drunk so I held my tongue and thought I would ask her in the morning. When we got home, she feel straight to sleep. Then (I’m not proud of it) looked though her phone and an found they had been text flirting each other.
I spoke to my wife in the morning. And she confessed that they had been having an emotional affair, but nothing else. She was very up set and said she was feeling very depressed and didn’t release she was doing it until it was to late.
My heart sank. We both took two weeks of work. I asked her if she would be willing to change wards at work to distance herself from him. But she said no as she had worked very hard to get ware she was. We started doing couples counselling. We started to communicate more, and thing were getting better.
Then I month ago, my wife was starting to act strange when she got home from work. Go for periods of time without answering her phone. But she always had an excuse which didn’t settle with me.
I then did something I’m really not proud off and wouldn’t suggest it to anyone. I put a recording device in my wife’s car. All I will say. I heard it had gone from an emotional affair to a full-blown sex affair.
I told her what I had done. And what I had heard. We had a couple of intense couples therapy sessions. My wife has now changed jobs. Going to induvial therapy session. Said due to depression she didn’t realize what she was doing.
I’m now going to induvial therapy session and working on getting me back which is hard.
We are still together, and she is working hard on herself and us.
I just have doubts I’m doing the right thing by staying with her and have a very bad record going around and around in my head of the stuff I heard.
its now been 3 weeks. everything is hard with so many triggers.
19 comments posted: Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023
