Newest Member: PMSandvig


Husband actively cheating & I’m staying (for now) Anyone else been here?

Hi all, I’m new here. I learned of my husbands affair a month ago, on our 16th anniversary. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions and decisions since then. Let me preface by saying we haven’t been "in love" for quite some time, and have essentially been roommates. He works all the time and I threw myself into our kids. No excuse for cheating. At all. He does not want to lose me or our family, however has admitted he isn’t looking to end the affair. I went to a divorce lawyer, and boy was that a reality check. I am seeing a therapist and working on healing, I’m putting on a front at home for our kids. And for now, I’ve decided to do nothing. I do work full time but couldn’t sustain this lifestyle without his income. The decision to leave and divorce is too big for me, RIGHT NOW. I’m taking it one day at a time. Right now I’m choosing comfort, for myself and my kids. I’m also open to filling my voids with someone else too, to keep myself happy. This prob all sounds crazy but I guess I’m wondering if there’s anyone else out there who can relate. Fortunately my best friend has found herself in this exact situation and she’s about 5 years ahead of me in the process. Coexisting in a loveless marriage, she has a boyfriend, and doesn’t care what her husband does. While it’s certainly not ideal, or what I would have chosen, my husband and I don’t fight in front of our kids or subject them to anything of the like. The affection is obviously lacking, but my kids are at an age where divorce will be emotionally awful for them. Ugh.

12 comments posted: Thursday, August 31st, 2023

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