Why do we hold on? How do I "connect" with reality?
Sitting here, just had a good cry.
And I don’t even understand why. Why can’t I just let go?
I won’t even bother to explain everything. Read my former posts if you wanna trash yourself. We were together for ~ 6.5 years. I’m 31, she is 29. 5 years where lala-land, pure love. We have a dog. We had a great apartment. We were all over each other.
Then I started to have some issues and got really obnoxious. Then my father died and I got even more messed up.
Year 5 She ended up with her married co-worker who also has kids. They had sex in our car, our home, his home, hotels, parking lots.
So that’s that.
What followed was 6 months of me doing the pick me dance and transforming my life. Started to work out. Re-built my social circle. Next month I’m done with university and gonna start a great job with 100% WFH and insane starting salary.
All for us. I wanted to forgive her and start over. I truly believe that people can make mistakes. Big mistakes even. But she was for me the most important person on this planet and she knew that.
Long story short we reconciled. It was messy at first but got much better over time. Then her sister died. Then reconciliation failed and she broke up 5 weeks ago.
Why do we hold on to people who trash us? I truly can say this is the worst thing that ever happened to me. And I’ve been through a lot. I’m a shell of who I was. I used to be very self Conscious, direct, loving and I’ve had my principles in life.
I threw all of this over board for her. To get our family back (she, our dog, me. We have no kids and I don’t want kids).
I look into the mirror and I see a stranger. Who is that guy? And why is she all I want even after she discarded me a second time?
I heard she’s already going out with her girl gang. She gets hit on where ever she goes. I know it’ll be a matter of weeks until she’s on to the next chapter.
While I’m here, crying.
I often wonder why I am the way I am. I’m trying to find out why I’m holding on to this.
I hate her parents. I hate what she did to us. Why hold on?
Is it because she is so god damn good looking? That would be fucking pathetic. Is it because I can’t shake off how beautiful and intense our connection was?
I hope I’ll find a therapist soon because everyday feels like I’m losing myself even more.
7 comments posted: Tuesday, May 28th, 2024
I think I am the narcissist, not her. Can anybody relate to this thought?
After this entire roller coaster I’ve been through, looking back at the absolutely mindless erratic behavior I have displayed after Dday + the extremely anxiously attached behavior from my side which led to her affair - I truly believe I am the problem. I think I am the actual covert narcissist, not her.
I’d like to anecdotally quote Sam Vaknin on that:
"Abnormal (narcissistic, borderline) people cheat, because they loose the ability to regulate themselves, because they fail to gather sufficient narcissistic supply or because they experience an internal collapse, where they’re unable to fight back against the inevitable phase of devaluation phase" (roughly quoted)
But he also described:
"Healthy people cheat because the relationship is not satisfying a basic level of needs, because the relationship has suffered under too much dissatisfying behavior or if characteristic or behavioral differences because too big." (Roughly quoted, he also stated that cheating is still not justifiable. He was just looking at it from a therapeutical perspective)
When I look back at how idiotic I behaved during the (end of) the relationship… the controlling behavior, the hyper sensitivity, the jealousy, the fear of abandonment, the lack of effort.. everything.. Since day 1 I fail to blame her for the affair. And she was substantially more stable troughout the entire relationship in comparison to me. I am the one who's coming out of a totally wrecked family. (Her parents are difficuilt, too. No doubt.)
Plus now my totally wrecked behavior during the reconciliation attempt. The permanent rage inside of me. The ever persisting fear of her straying again plus my final recent outblow of emotions - which led to her cancelling reconciliation - where I basically set everything on fire by confronting her parents, spitting mean words at her (very mean words for stuff like prostitute etc.)
I truly cannot believe that I am the victim. Or that I am normal and she’s the one who's the narcissist.
Also the way we handle the breakup.
She can go on better than me. I am completely paralyzed in bed since weeks.
Dday is 1 year ago and I am still utterly handicapped and what feels to be major depressed to the border of.. psychotic? (I’m not experiencing any symptoms like delusions or hallucinations or anything but I’m experiencing extreme depression).
Can anyone relate to this?
Who else thought "it was probably best for her to cheat, if that means she broke free from me?"
9 comments posted: Monday, May 20th, 2024
She ended Reconciliation today.
That’s it. We did not make it.
So I guess I’m part of the statistic now.
I am 31M, Ex wayward fiancé (6,5 year relationship) 29W.
Allow me to try and put this all together.
She had an affair with her married co-worker (2nd wife knows). Once I came behind it all she ended the relationship.
Reason for her was me neglecting her sexual needs, not working on myself, isolating myself.
My reason for this was that I was studying for my university approx. 10 hours every day, being tired afterwards and not having the energy for date nights or activities.
The truth lies in between probably. I probably neglected her, yes. She probably took the easy way out to cheat instead of working on herself while I’m busy finishing university.
Anyway. Short version.
She came back after 4 months affair. I took her back with no hesitation. She was a bit hot and cold until I put out boundaries. After that she was very engaged and positive. It actually felt like it’s happening in a positive way. We talked about so many things we never spoke about.
Then her sister died unexpectedly.
Starting a new time line from that tragedy, month 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 passed. All I have heard was that "nothings worth living for". I tried to tell her that I feel invisible when she says that. That although it happened, I need to know she’s with me because my trust has been demolished. I tried everything I can, to absorb her pain and help her.
She began to fall into old patterns. Smoking tons of pot we agreed on never doing it again. She became very unappreciative of our relationship. Mind you: she started her affair 2 weeks after my father passed away. I know how it feels to tank death. But even then, unbeknownst she’s head deep with another man, our bond was the only thing worth holding in to. I never made her feel like she’s not enough for me to enjoy life.
Anyway… one thing led to the other. One day my Ex behaved disrespectful towards me. I truly tried to communicate calm & clearly that she's treating me unfair. Then I got louder, because it's always the same: I try to communicate calm, and get ignored. I couldn’t contain it anymore and blew up. Then her mother came and within a minute both of them were on my neck, berating me that I'm not supposed to yell at her daughter. With this family it's always the opposite who did the false. They are incapable of saying "sorry" and are therefor incapable of looking inwards, self-reflecting their behavior.
I wasnt yelling because she was disrespectful. I was yelling because for almost 1.5 years now I know she's cheated on me, I did EVERYTHING to save this relationship, and in return have recieved the bare minimum for all this time. That was why I yelled.
You guys may think what is this guy yappin' about?
The issue is I legit do not know if I'm normal. If I am expecting too much. Her parents did not speak to me about ANYXTHING after I took her back. No "I appreciate you for sticking with her". No "I hope you will make it, if there's anything let us know". No "You must truly love our daughter, we hope you will find a way". Nothing. These people dont talk to nobody, not even each other. They all just hold each other on a pedestal but constantly treat each other in many bad ways.
I'm just wondering, IS THAT NORMAL? I basically grew up with inactive parents, and my father died last year, my mother years before. I can't tell anymore what is "normal" and what is "unrealistic standards".
Now it’s over. She ended it once again and I’m left here feeling absolutely ridiculous. After all the pain inflicted to me I am "incapable of forgiving" after one single out blow of emotions. I admit I called her bad names. Like, seriously rough stuff. Whore, betrayer, snake. All these words fell. In my rage I threw all her clothes out my closet and told her to leave. And thats where I cant tell if I'm normal. Is that normal for somebody who's been cheated on? Or am I too sensitive? Too emotional?
What's devouring me is my own behavior. Why did I blow up that bad... Why did I stonewall her for two weeks afterwards. Why couldn't I just relax, take a deep breath, and roll my eyes at her behavior. Nothing makes sense right now. Am I in the wrong for listening to my boundaries? Are my boundaries
If you have time, I’m open for any answers. I’m not the perfect guy. But I always loved her. This is not to wipe me clean, I’m sure her side of the story is interesting too.
But they can truly never understand the pain they punch us through.
9 comments posted: Tuesday, May 14th, 2024
what is this life... (feeling bad & irritated that I cannot feel empathy while WS griefs sisters death)
So... here I am once again, back at the only place that offered me some semblance of sanity and peace when I first found out. Brace yourself for rambling, long, intertwined, and chaotic streams of thought.
Trigger warning: Graphic Death by illness.
Me (31M), Her (29F)
I made some posts last year when I discovered my then-girlfriend of 6-years work-exit affair. Feel free to delve into those if you want a closer look at what transpired. But I'll provide a brief overview regardless, although this is a "reconciliation" forum. I hope this doesn't violate any rules, but I feel compelled to outline what occurred to provide context. The crux of this post, however, pertains to reconciliation.
So... let's break this down into three phases.
Phase 1: Found Out Stage
Phase 2: Pre-Death
Phase 3: Post-Death
Phase 1:
We were together for six years. Five of those years were wonderful. No toxicity, no shenanigans. Just a healthy relationship. The sixth year was incredibly tough. She became heavily involved with marijuana. I struggled at work and university. We both lost sight of ourselves, and consequently, our connection to each other waned. I became neglectful and overly dependent on her. She ended up leaving me, and I had to move into a dismal apartment. For a couple of months, she sent mixed signals, denying her affair and gaslighting me expertly. This denial, despite the evidence, inflicted considerable damage. It's an unforgettable feeling to confront someone while knowing the truth but being lied to directly. This deception was more damaging to me than the actual affair. Amidst all this, my father passed away from a heart attack two months earlier. Edit: No, one moment. She started the affair a couple of weeks before he died (her affair started November 2022). She essentially abandoned me in the midst of grieving our relationship, my lost home, and the death of my father. By the way, I grew up without a mother. So yes, I was utterly alone.
The affair was an illicit escapade with her married coworker, a betrayal that unfolded even in our home. This violation of our sacred space remains unforgivable to me.
She ended the affair, although her coworker persisted in pursuing her. After issuing an ultimatum, we eventually reconciled.
Phase 2 (Initial Reconciliation): Things slowly but surely improved. There were ups and downs, of course, but the lows gradually dissipated. She became affectionate and caring once again, displaying understanding and empathy towards me. We engaged in lengthy conversations, made plans, and worked on ourselves.
I managed to pull myself together, securing a great job at an international IT consultancy. Meanwhile, she made efforts to change her behavior, showing remorse and accountability for her actions.
She went to the US to visit her sister, a decision that was tough for me but understandable. It was her only opportunity to spend an extended period with her sister, especially since she was not currently employed. Unfortunately, her sister tragically passed away ten days before Christmas 2023. But more on that later.
Phase 3: One day, she called me to inform me that both she and her sister were sick with the flu. I advised her to stay strong, stay hydrated, and seek medical attention if necessary. I reminded her that her cousin was nearby if they needed help.
The flu worsened, and her sister's condition deteriorated rapidly. Despite my urging, her sister refused to go to the hospital due to fears of medical expenses. The next morning, my girlfriend frantically contacted me, informing me that her sister had passed out, her legs were discolored, and her private area was swollen and bleeding. She rushed her sister to the emergency room.
The diagnosis was streptococcus and sepsis. Her sister was placed in a coma, and doctors amputated both of her legs and one hand in a desperate attempt to save her life. She briefly regained consciousness before passing away.
It still feels surreal to me. I knew her sister for seven years. She was a wonderful person and left behind a seven-year-old child.
I'm only scratching the surface with this explanation. The ordeal felt like descending into an abyss. It was utterly horrific. My girlfriend practically witnessed her sister's slow death before rushing her to the emergency room. Understandably, my girlfriend is overwhelmed with guilt and shame for not acting sooner. But no one could have predicted the severity of the situation.
Now, onto why I'm writing this post:
Since returning to our country, she has made little progress. The entire situation is surreal. Our relationship is shattered by her affair. Our lives have been turned upside down by her reckless actions. Her sister died beside her, and she will never see her nephew again due to the father's behavior. She's unemployed, lacking in friends, and utterly lost. It's a complete mess. Sometimes, I struggle to comprehend how we reached this point.
She's turned to incessant marijuana use as a coping mechanism. When she's not smoking, she's erecting walls around herself and her grief. She refuses to take action or engage in meaningful conversation about her feelings. I understand the crushing weight of grief, but there comes a point where one must take control. It's been almost four months, and she remains stagnant. She's attending therapy, albeit half-heartedly, and refuses to envision a future for herself. If confronted with her grief, she shuts down or initiates futile arguments. She avoids calls when she's sad and resists any attempts to reintegrate into life.
Overall, I'm at a loss. I'm still grieving, too. I'm grieving the loss of myself caused by her betrayal. I'm far from healed, but currently, she's unable to contribute to our healing process. I understand this, but at the same time, I struggle to muster any more compassion for her. I'm unsure if this is normal or if I'm simply being callous. We once made promises and shared moments of clarity, but now I find myself caring for a woman who left me wounded in a swamp of lies.
It may sound childish, but she should be the one making an effort now. Obviously, she's unable to do so. But I also find myself incapable of making any further efforts.
To conclude, I suppose my question is: am I normal? Is this situation normal?
I'm typically a very empathetic person. I would never be so indifferent to my significant other's grief. The person I once knew would have cared for his partner with the utmost tenderness. Yet here I am, feeling apathetic...
3 comments posted: Monday, March 18th, 2024
I searched rocks and stone for a video of them f**ing... found one. Now it seems all lost. I feel pathetic.
I feel like I can't do this anymore.
My GF is visiting her family in the US right now. For 3 months. I communicated I'm very uncomfortable with this, as reco. is still really fresh. The affair traumatized me. I have been traumatized before, in childhood and teenage years, and always thought to myself "one more thing and I'm done" and now I truly can say I have PTSD. No doubt.
I have developed strong seperation anxiety and I don't want to be a crybaby, but I want her to be with me during this initial phase. She had the chance to visit her sister for 2-3 months and I did not want to interfere with family strings. Family is important. So I approved of her going, but eversince everyday is pure agony.
It's not that I think she'll do something stupid out there. She constantly calls me and wants to make sure I'm alright,its just that I have no power over my feelings at the moment.
We're still living seperately but we had some very beautiful days together in the meantime. I would say Reco. started appropriate.
Yesterday she straight up forgot her code to unlock her iPhone.
Through much hustle and work we figured out a way to get into her iCloud remotely. Since she has no clue about tht stuff, I did that.
Of course... I was being a fucking idiot.
I went into her camera roll and snooped around. I always had the suspicion there HAS TO BE a video somewhere. I know the guy. And I know he'll take the chance to film it, and I know she likes that too.
Found nothing. Until I came across a 6 second video. Pure black screen, only for a split second you can see what's going on. She must've overseen that video when deleting stuff. YOu cna hear him breath and hear her moan.
I didnt really know what to do oin that moment. I just broke down and cried. I felt pathetic, like a cuckhold. At the same time I know how muhc guilt, remorse and regret she has shown. I know she's ashamed of herself for doing all this. I didn't know what to do. I'm in reconciliaiton, and I know what they've done. Should I now make a scene out of it? But I couldn't resist. I called her and told her of my discovery. I told her I can't do this anymore. Cheating is so far away from my character I just cannot do it, not that I know heard her moan for him with my own ears.
She broke down and cried, begging. But she also got really upset that I snooped around and that it shouldn't be surprising. They had sex, I know it, people when they have sex, they moan.
It's gotten to a point where I dont know who I am anymore.
Is this right? is this wrong? All the signs that we can do it are there, but whenever I loose frame, she also looses it completely. But how else would she react? I understand her as well.
I'm rambling at this point. Sorry. I'm just a fucking mess. The last months were really happy, full of laughter and plans. Now it all seems to be gone. Her family is constantly telling her to leave the relationship, damage is too high. I need help.
24 comments posted: Thursday, November 2nd, 2023
I feel like a total a-hole because I brought it all up while she was grieving a family member
Hey... so this happened literally 30 minutes ago.
Long story short:
My ex (been together 7 years) and me are... "reconciling".
Pre-affair I became very needy, insecure, jealous. Kind of toxic too. Ex had an affair with her co-worker. Broke up with me 2 weeks after my fathers funeral. Managed to hide the affair for 5 months. Out of the blue admitted to everything, begging for me to give us another chance.
So eversince we're "reconciling". But she's still keeping me at arms length, but when I signal that I'm not okay with being in a situationship with her, she panics and draws me back in.
I communicated that I feel really unsafe with her. I feel like the sporadic phone calls during the week and the 1-2 days per week we see each other, isn't enough for me to relax and feel safe within the situation. I argued that for me - I don't need to "get to know her" again. I would want to either move back into a shared place and start over the "right" way, or leave it be.
Today she got bad news by a family member that her grandma is passing on.
I am very anxiously attached. I'm not the biggest fan of attachment theory, but it really doest fit me. I always try to "check up" if the other person still "loves me" or not. If they are with me or not. And I do that, and did so before her infidelity, in really egocentric and reckless ways.
And now, that we *kind of* got back together, slowly moving closer to each other, I haven't had the emotional / rational control to keep my insecurities in check... I could punch myself in the face right now.
When she told me that she'd rather stay alone today, all my mind could think of was:
"We used to be inseparable. Before all this, she would've wanted me by her side. Now after all she had done to me she doesn't even want me by her side, although this is such an emotional moment. I need to "check" if she still loves me or not."
At the end of the phone call, after she passed me the news and was clearly sad, confused and grieving the loss of her grandmother, I brought it all up like "I think we should take some time apart..." "I dont see you investing into us as much as I do".
I could bang my head against a wall. I don't mean to invalidate her feelings yet I absolutely did.
Why am I posting all this...
Well. I would be interested if anyone here can relate?
Did it happen to you as well that your wounds of infidelity took over any rational thinking? That you involuntarily hurt your partner, because of the hurt of the betrayal? I feel like the biggest a-hole right now. My feelings just shouldn't matter right now. Not in a moment of grief. I'm just so mad at myself.
I behaved like this during our relationship and I just know that it reminded her exactly why she started to doubt our relationship...
Sorry if I'm rambling... I'm very upset right now.
15 comments posted: Sunday, September 17th, 2023
she wants to "take it slow"
And I don't understand. I feel like I am the one chasing her.
Our relationship feels like a shell of what we used to be. Yet when I communicate that I'm done, that I'll leave if she cannot officially commit to me, she breaks down in tears and begs to stay.
Once I am back, the "I love you"'s turn to "love you"'s. During our relationship she would want to see me everyday. Now we see each other for 2-3 days a week, and barely speak on the rest of the days.
AP is gone. The OBS knows and chose to stay with him. My wayward gf (7 years) broke contact with AP, and she's clearly disgusted by him, herself and full of regret and shame.
So the affair I'm very certain: is over.
I feel like reconciliation cannot be taken slowly. How should I be able to build trust, if she keeps me at arms length, yet pulls me in, once I stray too far? She knows me for 8 years. She knows who I am. She doesn't need to take things slow to figure out if she wants this relationship to rekindle or not. She kn
Distance used to be no issue before d-day. But now, it's making it impossible for me to re-evaluate who she is, what we are, and where things are going. And I don't understand why she either still cannot be honest and communicate that, for her, too much damage has been done OR how she actually feels good with the way things are right now. Because that's what she's telling me.
"I just want to feel our connection without feeling the pressure to make a decision. I believe that's the way we'll come together".
I just feel like her shame, guilt and remorse is convincing her to give us another chance. Not our love, bond and history. But whenever I say that, and I do, tears start rolling and the re-assurance, she loves me, she see's only us in the future, starts coming.
Any input on my situation is highly appreciated.
9 comments posted: Saturday, September 16th, 2023
How to cope with losing a wonderful woman, who tried to make things work but ended up cheating.
Hey all.
The short version of my story is:
I (30m) was with my GF (28f) for 6,5 years. She wanted to marry for years, I said I will without a doubt marry her when I finish my degree. I don't want to step into a marriage without being able to provide.
First 5 years were the perfect relationship. People keep telling me "it cant be perfect if she did what she did" but thats just what it is. No fights, no arguments. Just pure love and fun.
Year 5.5 I have developed what I would say severe depression, while she did the same. She was smoking weed everyday, neglecting her friends and family while I was burnt out due to University stress and my inner pressure to finally start my career.
This resulted in me studying non stop. 10-12 hours a day. I've let myself go. Didn't shave, stopped working out, pale skin, no sex drive and if we had sex I only did my part. I stopped going out at all, was home EVERY DAY.
After a while she communicated her needs clearly. She tried and tried to get through to me. Tried to rebuild the bond, tried to talk to me about her issues, tried to animate us to go out and have a date night.
Nothing. I actually dismissed her feelings and just responded with "look, at the moment I gotta make this university stuff work." but in hindsight I simply neglected her which is not the right way to handle a relationship.
Looking back I see how she tried, and tried, and tried. She is incredibly good looking and eventually a married co-worker started to give her attention.
They ended up doing it all. Full-blown affair, the worst way. Sex everyday. In the car, at our home, at his home, expensive dates.
She is no bad person. She is a very kind and loving character who just made a really bad decision. I cannot hate her, I cannot blame her, while I also cannot blame myself that much because I know at the time I did my best, although ti wasnt enough.
I'm in a complete void. I cannot feel anything and therfor cannot seem to make progress emotionally. I'm stuck in a constant state of initial shock.
QUESTION:
If your story is similar to mine, if you also neglected your relationship / your partner for too long, how do you cope with it?
How do you get rid of the guilt and self-blame for how things ended?
63 comments posted: Sunday, September 3rd, 2023
Did they "upgrade"?
I whole heartedly understand what you are going through.
If that's the case, as it is the same with my ex and her AP - yes, they upgraded.
But at the same time they (our ex) - as a person - downgraded themselves. They will forever be tainted by infidelity. They will forever carry that with themselves. Most will ignore and downplay what they have done, but only consciously. Subconsciously on a deep psychological level, they tainted their entire character and they will NEVER be the same person that we have met, and fell in love with.
This is the only bandage we can apply.
It's a tragic, sad and desperate situation for everybody except AP. And our only choice now should be to reflect on our behavior to prevent this from happening / increase our value to our next partner.
- What has made us so unattractive that they lost so much respect, they could do such a thing? Let's face it: Yes, some cheaters are simply vile, demonic, reckless characters. But sometimes we, the betrayed, acted way out of the normal. Sometimes even toxic I suppose. Yes - probably because of childhood trauma we couldn't cope with at the time, but still. When I look back at how I acted the last year of my relationship, it was totally understandable that she left. Which does NOT EXCUSE cheating! I am not saying that. BUT! People are imperfect. We make mistakes. They make mistakes. Sometimes both parties contributed evenly to the burned-to-ashes relationship. Neither of us are bad / evil people, per se.
- What is missing inside of US, that we feel so desperate and in despair because of ONE person? That is not normal. I want to emphasize on that. It is NOT normal to react the way most of us here do. My aunt was recently cheated on by her ex-husband of 17 YEARS. She almost lost her house, had to take care of two dogs alone while being self-employed, had to sell our grandparents house to pay bills etc. And she didnt even CLOSELY fell as deep as I did. Why? Because she has a healthy self esteem and is rock steady in her life choices. We need to become rock steady too, no matter who does what to us. 9 months later she met a man who is treating her really nice. They're both in their 50s btw.
- What is missing in our life that our ex filled? Stability - we need to be stable on ourself. Intimacy - we need to be contempt with who we are even if we are alone for a couple of months / years. Sex - we can get casual sex if we decide to, once we found our strength to not instantly attach to the next possible option, just out of misery and despair.
And also:
We should reflect on our ex partners behavior aswell.
- How did we feel during the last 1-2 years during the relationship? Was it all good? Was our ex REALLY that amazing? Or were we incompatible and we simply choose to ignore out of laziness / fear / complacency? Did they show abusive behavior which we are willingly to overlook because we miss them?
- Did they communicate their needs clearly? Did they give us a chance in working on our relationship or did they simply discard us when their AP made their effort? That is a huge factor in evaluating who we were with. Because if they didn't communicate, its almost guaranteed that at some point they would've cheated anyway, since that would mean there was no commitment. Commitment isnt a feeling. It's a choice. You CHOOSE your partner, which is the healthy, adult way of leading a relationship. If you didn't change behavior although they communicated, then you are at fault and you NEED to acknowledge your part to prevent your next relationship to become toxic.
- And simply put: DOES ANY HUMAN BEING DESERVE TO BE CHEATED ON? No. Cheating IS abuse. Do not hold on the phantasyland! You most likely arent holding on the person but much rather on the routines, the processes, the shared living space, the safety and stability. NOT THE RELATIONSHIP ITSELF. If any of them cheat, the relationship was most likely already eroded from the inside out. And the affair made everything so much more ill, sick and vile. Theres no turning back from that.
Regarding the "upgraded" AP.
We gotta define what that means. It doesnt mean they are better than you. But we have to accept and understand that the AP sometimes is better for them. That's just reality. And denying that and demonizing everything and everybody is unhealthy for your personal journey.
If you cannot be happy for your ex, that they found someone more fitting to their lifestyle, at least understand that you do not fit their lifestyle or needs anymore. It is egoistical to believe you're entitled to another persons life, body or soul. Just as it was egoistical by them to believe it is okay to betray you and put you through this insane misery.
I know these are some hot takes for the forum here. But that's just my way of looking at it.
Please feel free to start a discussion in the comments, seriously. Let your perspective out, it might help other people, or it might be cathartic to your nervous system to get it all out.
21 comments posted: Wednesday, August 30th, 2023
