Newly wed and discovered husband has been sleeping with escorts

6 weeks into marriage, haven’t even received our wedding photos and I made the horrible discovery that my husband had been seeing escorts. My world has been turned upside down.

We have been together for almost 4 years, during the relationship we didn’t engage in pre-marital sex, he told me he respected the decision. Throughout the relationship I would check up on him to see how he’s feeling, eg if he’s sexually frustrated but every time I ask he keeps assuring me he is fine. I don’t know how long he has been seeing escorts for but I came to find out accidentally when I stumbled upon exchanges that he had made with his mate sharing their encounters with escorts, as they would see the same one. He’s mate is also married and has been cheating on his wife for years. I was so shocked and disgusted when I discovered this. I found out he has been seeing escorts before we were dating and during our relationship, in fact he continued to see them after we got married.

I felt completely blindsided, I trusted my husband he was always kind and caring towards me never would I have thought he would be seeing escorts. I don’t even know who this man I married is. I gave him 2 chances to be open and honest with me but he kept denying saying he only went to see escorts to chat with them and have a cuddle but didn’t have any sexual encounters with them. I couldn’t believe that he could even try to feed me with such lies. Finally I had enough and showed him the proof. He still denied it at first but finally admitted to it only 3 times, although I know it was way more than that.

He said he wants to do everything he can to work on our marriage but I just can’t trust him anymore, he didn’t even confess the truth I had to force it out of him, so it feels like he’s not remorseful at all but just guilty he got caught. He’s currently seeing a counselor, I asked him straight up if he has sex addiction and he adamantly says no.

I’m so angry with the situation I felt like he conned me into marrying him. If he wasn’t satisfied with the relationship he should have just communicated it with me or just walk away, so that I could have found a man more compatible with my values. I felt that it’s so unfair that he never communicated with me his dissatisfaction, and selfishly took matters in his own hands by endangering my health. I can’t believe he says that he loves me and could sleep peacefully at night knowing what he’s done. If he loves me how could he betray me like this, he even knew that I was betrayed in my previous relationship and assured me that not all men are like my ex, but he betrayed me 100 times worse.

We have no kids so my head says run but my heart wants to believe he can change.
Is there any hope in reconciling or am I just better off leaving this broken marriage? I just can’t trust him anymore.

33 comments posted: Thursday, May 4th, 2023