Angry and desire some sort of vengeance -help !

I posted a few times many months back,at the time I was so hurt, depressed, confused and all I wanted was my WH. Since then, I have been working on myself, emotionally, spiritually,and physically. I even joined a gym and I think I look great. I no longer feel like a dishrag! Noticeable changes others have noticed. Now, I am angry. I seem to be almost obsessed with calling out this woman. From the grapevine,it would seem she has destroyed another marriage and the other WS is now divorced and calling her his soul mate and apologizing for keeping her hidden. Of course, I wonder if he is aware his "soul mate" was trying to get her hooks (and almost did) into my H. I am also aware that he's the one who let her in. I want to reach out to his ex wife and let it spread from there. However, I don't want to hurt her further and I don't know what their situation really was. I also don't want any negative repercussions boomeranging back at us. we start MC in the next few weeks. My H has been mostly honest (I will never know for sure), loving, blah,blah,blah. He claims he can never do it again.. he's learned from this. He claims our relationship is different because we have G-d. Well, we had Him before. That didn't matter than,why would it stop him in the future? Anyway, shot I reach out to the ex-wife? What would you do? Thank you in advance.

13 comments posted: Sunday, July 23rd, 2023

Lies and more lies

I have to vent and I am thankful for this forum for the ability to do that. I am angry and hurt. Well, I did contact ow and I am sorry I did. I must be stupid. I had hoped she would give me the information my wh would not. I suppose I thought she would do the right thing. Nope. I am just floored with her manipulative,all about her attitude. I can't wrap my head around it. It was a stupid decision. She wanted to have coffee. I'll pass on that. I am done with her and him, I think I have enough to know what happened. He gets defensive,he told me he didn't want to divorce. But, the lies just keep coming. He also has a porn problem. I knew sometimes he watched it and was embarrassed. Before all this I hoped it would pass. It hasn't,and now I see that in a different lens. He's still lieing. We had talked about it and agreed he would tell me when he had the urge and we'd work it through. Didn't happen, but he did tell me he slipped once. It has only been a few days since our conversation. I feel disgusted,angry and I feel like I am still being cheated on. I'm over it. I don't know how to handle this.

8 comments posted: Monday, May 29th, 2023

Advice please

Well, I had posted in general upon the discovery of my ws ea. Since then we have been working on our marriage and it does seem to have improved. He has been willing to listen to me and answer questions about why and what happened. Of course,more details have been put out there. However, I am still struggling. There is something that is not sitting right and I can't place what it is. He says there has been nc since the last I know about. What's really strange is that this woman had sent a text saying that she has been hurt and she did nothing wrong. The vibe was they were just friends and she's now just worried about her job and how my ws is harming her and her family,and how cruel he is being to her. She also left an angry vm. Well, that's simply not true. I want so badly to contact her, although,to what end? He gets angry and defensive and wants to move on and I'm stuck. I know I am being petty with this, but this is not her first time inserting herself in someone else's marriage that's with the same company, and I am disgusted with her and whatever manipulations she is serving up. I don't know what to do.

26 comments posted: Thursday, May 18th, 2023

Not sure what action to take

Hello, I am not sure where to post this, but here it goes. It's been about 3 weeks since I stumbled across the text message that revealed his ea. She is someone who comes in to clean the office. The night of discovery,he texted her that it had to end and to not contact him again,and he blocked her number. She also was told,by his boss,that her services would be cut to quarterly and only on Saturday when he is not there. She has since used different numbers to contact him and saying it's not fair, she was a good "friend", etc. She seems to think he is just mad because she went on a date with someone else. Well, he didn't know that,and when he told her to stop and to go nc, she texted back and said that she was thinking the same and that she met someone. What is going on here? I just want her to leave us alone.she is also throwing in what it's doing to "her little family" and how she did nothing wrong. I've seen some of the texts, and I can tell you that I don't speak to my friends the way they did. According to my h they only hugged once. I'm sorry this is long and I hope that this is legible,as my thoughts are everywhere. Insight would be greatly appreciated.Thank you.

4 comments posted: Monday, May 1st, 2023