The myth of reconciliation
During the past (2) months I asked my marriage counselor for success stories. She looked at me with a horrified look on her face.
Bottom line is this, if your spouse pair bonded with another human being (mainly on the WW side) it's over.
Realize it, don't waste any more time. I sincerely wish you all the best but it will never work out.
Also during the past (2) months, I have researched thru friends, the web and books for non-success R stories. There were millions.
Unicorns do not exist.
Life will get better, just not with a cheating spouse.
131 comments posted: Wednesday, March 8th, 2023
Post Nup Tip
My buddy lawyer gave me a funny tip on post nups during reconciliation.
Especially if you were main "controller" of finances in the household.
His advice was to GROSSLY overinflate net-worth and valuations on assets. When the WS looks at the financial disclosure and their eyes pop out of their head or they refuse to sign you will really know what actually matters to them. They will be thinking "I could have half that!" instead of "let me sign this and work things out".
good test, i dunno, what say you folks?
16 comments posted: Thursday, March 2nd, 2023
Post Nup Tip (moved to General)
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0 comment posted: Thursday, March 2nd, 2023
DD 2 was it...
Where do we even start...
Been married for 18 years to what I thought was the love of my life. We have 2 kids, a beautiful home and what I thought was a wonderful life.
How wrong could I be...
DEC 10th, after waking early saw my wifes iwatch on the kitchen counter. Been having some weird gut feelings about her activities over the previous months...more botox, more revealing outfits, always on her phone and even changes to her bikini waxing routine.
Looking at the watch i starting scrolling thru her messages...found a thread with one of her good (divorced) friends. The discussion W/photos talked about my wife's new boyfriend, pictures of them together and all sorts of terrible stuff. Dumbfounded, shocked I confronted her about this guy and she came totally clean. She desperately pleaded for me to do marriage counseling, therapy and offered deep regret.
So I tried. It wasn't easy but hey everyone makes mistakes right? and we had so much to lose...I set clear boundaries, requested certain things and tried to get over this painful revelation. I lost 25 lbs (from 185 to 160) in a matter of 30 days. Went on all sorts of anti anxiety medication and sleep aids. It was the worse feeling of pain I have ever experienced.
But it looked like we had chance, weekly marriage counseling where she said all the right things and showed great remorse.
How wrong could I be again...
Fast forward to Friday, 2/27/23...walked into our bedroom and she discreetly hide something under the covers with a weird grin on her face...I peeled the covers back and next to her leg was a 2nd phone, a burner phone. She quickly snatched it up and began frantically deleting things. I grabbed it out of her hands, most of the messages were deleted but i checked the call log. That day we had marriage counseling and immediately afterward she had called her affair partner. His number is burned into my brain and I noticed it right away. She then snagged the phone out of my hand. I saw what i needed to see...however my 12 year old son heard the commotion and has known what his mom was up to the last time this went down grabbed the phone out her hand. She wrestled him to the ground and they were fighting over the phone. You haven't seen rock bottom till you see your poor son fighting his mom for her own burner phone. a disgusting image i will never erase from my memory bank.
So here we are now...she is pleading again for me to not divorce her. That she loves me so much etc etc
My attorney hasn't called me back yet but plan on filing as soon possible.
How can someone you spend almost half your life with be so destructive?
Its just baffling. I don't even feel pain anymore but more of a sense of relief. and mainly Just pity for her and her future life of chaos...
30 comments posted: Wednesday, March 1st, 2023
The myth of reconciliation (moved to General)
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0 comment posted: Monday, February 27th, 2023