3 months since DD - I don’t know if I can do this

Hello,

So - it’s been three months since DD.

I decided to stay, I love him (sadly it seems to be something that doesn’t switch off even when they betray us beyond belief) and we have two young children together.

Things have been okay, obviously I still have incredibly difficult days and some days I wonder how I actually get to the end of the day.

Now, I found an email address of his, not one I knew. Being a typical stupid male, the password was the same as he uses for everything.

Curiosity got the better of me - I found bookings over a 5 week period of 9 hotels - costing approx £1,000.
Now we do not have that sort of money (the past year has been especially difficult), we get by month to month but I watch our money and have sacrificed days out with the children ect to get ourselves straight (obviously not aware what he was up to!!!).

I feel so angry, so hurt that he would put a dirty little ***** before me and his children. Spend money we didn’t have on her, so he could get his leg over. How rather than working on our relationship, taking me out - he was too busy taking her out.

I’m honestly questioning who this man is and whether I can be in this relationship. I have zero trust.

My question is - I knew he had an affair, and I decided to stay. Things have been going in the right direction and I have had hope that we would be able to get through this. I guess seeing things that just really hits home, seeing physical evidence of what he was up to.

Do I just accept that this was part of the affair and continue to move forward?

I’m so sorry, I’m hurting so bad, I just needed somewhere to come and let it out

I really hope you are all doing okay xxx

7 comments posted: Thursday, December 29th, 2022

He won’t admit it

Hi,

I found out about 2 weeks ago that my partner of 8 years had been having an affair (for about 10 months) he is yet to admit it.

The affair partner has told me everything and in all honesty I do believe it all, it all adds up.

He says she was just was a friend (a friend I had never heard of!!!!) and that it was nothing, someone to talk to.
I obviously don’t believe this.

He says he loves me and wants to be with me with.
I do understand that he could mean this and he could have huge regret with what he has done and can’t face the shame of having to admit it as it then becomes real.

Has anyone had this, where their partner will just not admit it even though the evidence is there?

I have spoken to a therapist and we are seeing them next week, he has suggested that my partner sounds as though he is in the denial stage.

I just don’t understand why he keeps lying, why can’t he just show me the respect I deserve and tell me the truth.

This has been the worst two weeks of my life, I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down!

13 comments posted: Saturday, October 1st, 2022

8 Month Affair

Hi,

My heart is breaking. I found out last week that my partner of 8 years and father of my two daughters has been having an affair - 8 months long.

I feel shocked, angry, in the most pain I have ever felt.
I’m only managing to get through each day because of the children and that’s a struggle.

He is still denying it however she has confirmed it and there is evidence that it is true - I had a gut feeling for the past few months also. He has said it was purely a friendship & someone to talk to and that he has stopped talking to her now

Where do I go from here. The man I loved, still love so much. Has done the worst thing, has broken all my trust, broken my heart.

I can’t think straight. Is all I feel now is I need to try and keep him - which is ridiculous, I feel pathetic.
We have shared 8 wonderful years together, the past year has thrown us some tests but I just can’t believe he has done this to me.

I can’t bear the thought of life without him.

8 comments posted: Tuesday, September 20th, 2022