She is cheating and i knew it
i married my wife 1 month ago. Prior to that we were dating for about 4 years.
In the beginning of this yeah she started talking a lot about a coworker and was writing with him a lot. I immediately felt like something was wrong. But she assured me " he is just a good friend". That went on and on and it came up often. She was writing a lot with him and i felt something is wrong. I asked her to tell me the truth and she said the same thing.
Then the nearer our wedding came she reduced the contact for me and i was happy. We got married at the registry office on 04. August and on 06. AUgust we had like a weeding party with a little ceremony.
On the evening of 4th August i saw that she wrote him "good night" and three kiss smileys. After we had sex on our wedding day, she wrote him this. We talked about it, and she assured me there is nothing. Then came the big party. Her coworker came and didn't say a word to me. I was instantly sad. I cried because he was there. But i caved and said "its one of her best friends" i will endure it because i love her. He then went out during the ceremony. I later learned because he couldn't see her with another man.
After the wedding we were fine. But then i got this weird feeling again. She told me stories that didn't add up. And i got suspicious. We talked about it and she said she loves me and is ready to work on this relationship. On tuesday she then came to me and said she wanted sex. And then we had very intimate nice sex. When she went to clean up, i looked at her phone and saw it. Before having sex with me she wrote him "i am so in love with you. I miss you so much. i love you to the moon and back." (the german doesn't really translate). I was shocked, i confrtonted her and she told me she is in love with him.
Then i learned five days after our weeding he told her he loved her and she feels the same. The had a intimate kiss. From that point on she was having this "affair" on whatsapp and she saw him at work, where the exchanged a few kisses. THey never had sex, but i am not sure she is telling the truth. He is married for 10 years (married at 19) and has a 4 month old baby. She is also pregnant with my child. And he says he isn't comfortable to have sex and betray his child and wife. BUt writing and kissing seems ok.
Now she is at point where she cant stop thinking about him. And she says there is no base for our relationship.
I then went back to my parents and will completely move out on saturday.
We talked again today and she told me she woke up and was asking herself what she is doing and missing me.
She just can't decide what she wants right.
She needs time and space. And it is relly hard for me not to contact her. Because i think she will forget about me. And if she feels bad, there will be another guy to help her.
I know it is the right thing to do, stop contacting her, but its so hard for me. It sounds weird but i love her more now, then before.
I just really wish she realizes what she is throwing away, if she leaves me for good.
I really want a future with her, or at least a try. We will have a kid together, and i want that kid to grow up in an intact family with the real dad and mom.
I don't know if this in normal thinking and behaviour in this situation. But i really think she could come back to me.
Edit: The child is mine. His child was born around the time our child was concieved, so he wasn't there. And we had sex three times on the calculated day of conception.
I asked her to marry me last year, because i was sure she is the one. The heavy contact with the coworker started early this year. So we didn't get married because of the child.
43 comments posted: Monday, September 12th, 2022