Blindsided

So after 17.5 years of marriage, my wife thought I was having an affair. Does she confront me? NO. Why? Because she didn't want the truth.
Was I having an affair? No. Did I ever? NO.
So what happened......
She decides based on our lack of sex and her all-knowing wisdom to go online, find a typical jerk guy (also married) and have a 6 month affair.
I only found out because dipshit left his phone out and was acting strange. His wife looked at his phone and saw the Kik app. She went through the phone and there it was. Pic exchanges, porn exchanges, conversations and porn gifs.
So after telling my wife disguised as him that his wife knows about the affair, my wife panicked and told me. (Brilliant on her part)
She didn't tell me because she was sorry, but because she didn't want everyone to find out. You see we were going on a group vacation with friends and she was afraid I'd find out via a phone call on vacation. (Self preservation)
It's been over a year and I know almost every detail of the affair. The 1st time at the hotel. The next 2 in my SUV (classy I know).
I guess I'm here to talk and see if there's any advice. You see the only 4 people that know about the affair are me, my wife, the jerk, and his wife.
To be honest, I'm not sure why I stayed. I did, do and will always love my wife, and my kids are my everything. I love my life and what we built. However, the anger is still there and the facts of it all don't go away. It will NEVER be the same obviously and I have changed as a person because of it.

38 comments posted: Thursday, August 18th, 2022