Newest Member: trustingyou

Untethered21

So this sucks…

All over the place

I recently received verbal confirmation from my WS in May. I had suspected something was amiss for about a year. I was always told that I was crazy. After much digging, I discovered that she been having and EO for at least two years with a "friend" from her high school days. Even after I discovered facts, I attempted to drop enough hints that she would confess to me.

During COVID, my job was extremely stressful and I neglected my family both physically and emotionally.

One night after a wedding we attended, I became upset and most of what I knew came out in the car on the way home. Needless to say we talked until about 3am. The next day she and I attended church and she said she has decided to only work on us.

She said that she had not been in contact with her AP since around March when she had told him she had wanted to pull away. She said he allowed her. At first, she told me that she was not sure that he would not always be a part of her life. That they were friends first. She assured me that the only physical contact was kissing when he would drive through town and stop by her work. She swore that they were not intimate.

During their A, she would say extremely horrible things about me to her two best friends. One of whom I allowed (with her 3 children) to live with us and our children when their house was destroyed by a hurricane. The other of whom I have known for twenty plus years.

I brought my knowledge of this to her attention as well. She apologized and seemed more upset that I had read those things than that she was caught in an A.

Since that time, she has ceased contact with her AP. She blocked him on messenger (how they communicated), she calls and talks to me, we have discussed the situation multiple times. She has basically surfaced level her friends and stated that they no longer receive personal information. She has given me access to her phone. We are moving forward.

Here is my issue. I feel I have made progress, but I am prone to bouts of being triggered and becoming sullen.

I am trying to trust her, but I am always leery when she is out of my site. I question a ton in my mind. I am seeing a counselor. She said she is not ready to see one. Had a bad experience with a religious one at one point. How do I start to trust her again? Why do I continually question her motives for this change?

I am so glad to know I am not crazy or alone.

28 comments posted: Friday, July 15th, 2022

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