Newest Member: lrpprl


How do I deal with her Ambivalence? (She is the WS)

I am the BH, she is the WW. We are still really, REALLY early. It’s only 2 months from d-day (4-mo EA), so of course I’m still a wreck.

I feel no ambivalence. I want to work things out.

She is doing almost all the right things. IC, we’re in MC, she’s doing NC, has been completely open and honest about everything, basically from the moment of discovery.

She is also taking some actions I requested to avoid triggering me, she’s spending much more time on me/us, and reading the books I found.

She says she is committed to working on our marriage.

BUT, she says she is ambivalent. Basically is saying that we’re going back to dating while we’re in MC, and when we see how that goes, we’ll figure out what’s next.

This is killing me. My trust, security, and safety were trashed, and now I have no solid ground on which to gain my footing.

This early on, of course I should be ambivalent. But I’m not. I’m committed to working this out.

I just can’t tell if she really is committed or not, due to the ambivalence thing. The lack of commitment / integrity was the cause of the affair in the first place, so what does this all mean?

15 comments posted: Wednesday, June 15th, 2022

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